Teardrops
by ShadowPrincess12
Summary: What if Voldemort never existed? What would Harrys life be like? Perhaps it wouldnt be as good as you might think… Contains Child Abuse & Self harm. OLD FIC from 2005 - UPDATED! - I've had a bit of inspiration and hope to finish it off!
1. What did I do Wrong?

Summary: What if Voldemort never existed? What would Harry's life be like? Living with his parents and older brother and younger sister? Perhaps it wouldn't be as good as you might think…

Disclaimer: (applies to the WHOLE story!) I don't own anything you recognize from the books or the movies! Though I'm proud to own the story line! And my own ideas! If I did own them WHY would I be writing fan fiction anyway? I'd be working on book 7!

Teardrops

Chapter 1: What did I do wrong?

It was a dazzlingly sunny day in the middle of one of the hottest summers for several years. Godric's Hollow was bathed in sunlight, Harry Potter was dozing in his favorite spot, inside a hollow tree, which he had stumbled upon on of his explores of the small wood on the grounds several years ago. Thankful for the peace and quiet of the shady tree and the privacy of its hidden entrance he dozed on peacefully.

"Harry!" Yelled a red headed woman from the door of the house

Harry opened an eye lazily.

"Harry!" she yelled again "Get in here NOW!"

Harry sighed before getting up and strolling over to the house.

"There you are! Get inside!" she yelled angrily

"Sorry mum" Harry muttered ducking under her arm and heading into the house

"Dinners on the table" she told him shaking her head "go on!"

Harry headed into the kitchen and took his seat next to his brother Dawson who ignored him completely and tucked into his plate of food hungrily as his dad walked into the room.

"Hey Dad! Guess what!" Dawson said happily

"What?" James asked as he sat down

"I got my letter!" Dawson grinned madly

"Really?" James said excitedly "Great!"

Lily smiled sat down next to Aimee, Harry's sister.

"We'll go shopping for your stuff tomorrow!" Lily smiled

"Mummy can we go to the ice cream place?" Aimee asked "Pretty please!"

"Of course we can!" Lily said "after we've got Dawson's stuff"

"Can we go to…" Harry started hopefully

"No" James said before Harry finished his sentence

Harry looked back down at his plate and began picking at his potatos.

"Will I get my wand?" Dawson asked

"Of course" James said proudly

"And a new broom?" Dawson asked innocently

"Well you can't take it to school but yeah ok then, the new Comet came out last week I suppose you want it! I fancy one myself!" James said

"Can I have one?" Harry asked awestruck

"Of course not" James said sharply "you've never been on a broom in your life why would you need a broom especially a Comet…"

"Can I learn to fly then?" Harry asked

"Maybe later" James said lazily

"Mummy, when can I go to Hogwarts?" Aimee asked hopefully

"Not yet sweetie you have to be a bit older before you can go to Hogwarts" Lily explained

"Can I go with Dawson?" She asked

"No sweetie" Lily smiled "You have to wait your turn"

"Please can I? I really really want to go!" she asked

"No Aimee like your mum said not yet" James agreed

"How about we get you a new pet sweetie" lily said seeing Aimee getting tearful

"Okay!" Aimee said "I want a kitty!"

The cheerful conversation about the trip to Diagon alley for Dawson's School Equipment continued until they had all finished eating. After the meal Harry headed up to his room.

Harry loved his room it was small but cozy with his bed next to the window with a little desk with selves and draws etc next to it. Against the opposite wall was a small seating area filled with cushions and around it on the walls were more shelves and draws littered with random objects. Harry had crimson red curtains draped around is bed and the walls were covered in moving and still pictures, drawing and little pieces of written work. On his small wardrobe sat a beautiful little owl with tattered wings that Harry had brought a few years ago with some birthday money. The owl dozed happily occasionally clicking its beak. Harry shut the door behind him.

"Whisper! " Harry said softly. The owl opened a bleary eye and fluttered gently on to Harry's arm where Harry stroked her shimmering coat and fed her an owl treat before she flew gently back up to her perch.

Harry pulled out his sketch book from his desk draw and took his pencil case from the desk too and clambered up onto his bed. He pulled the curtains back and fastened them securely with their ties to the walls before beginning a sketch of Whisper. Harry continued to sketch peacefully until he heard his dad's voice echoing through the house.

"Harry Get down here now!" James yelled

Harry hurried downstairs glancing in the rooms as he passed to see which his father was in. finally he found him in the second living room.

"What did you do with Aimee's Marvin the Muggle Magician book?" James asked

"Nothing dad" Harry said honestly

"Nothing? Nothing! Well then where has it disappeared too then?" James spat angrily pushing Harry towards the wall "You know its her favorite book"

"Sorry dad I don't know where it is" Harry said truthfully

"I don't believe you, you little liar" James yelled pushing Harry into the wall and clenching his fist round Harry's left arm. "Where is it?"

"I don't know honest!" Harry said close to tears

"Don't give me that rubbish" James spat and Harry whimpered as his fathers hand came into contact with his face hard.

"Sssorry" He muttered

"Get out of here" James said viciously pushing Harry into the wall once more.

Harry scampered out of the room as fast as he could and hurried back to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed tears running down his cheeks.

'Why me' He thought sadly 'why can't I be perfect like Dawson or Aimee? Why don't my parents love me?'

A/n So what do you all think?


	2. Happy Birthday Harry

Teardrops

Chapter 2: Happy Birthday Harry.

Harry jolted from an uneasy sleep it was today. It was his birthday! He was going to be eleven and finally he could go to Hogwarts! That's if his parent would let him…

He remembered the day just over 3 years ago in June when Dawson had got his letter and how happy his parents had been and how Aimee had lost her book and how his dad hadn't been happy… Harry quickly shook himself out of it and jumped out of bed and hurried to the window.

No sign of an owl.

'Maybe they don't want me either' he thought sadly

Harry sighed and headed downstairs. He helped himself too some cereal and took his place at the table munching quietly. Everyone else was still in bed apart from Aimee's cat Lily-legs who was weaving itself round Harry's ankles in the hope of food.

"Sorry Lil" Harry mumbled "no food from me today you'll have to wait for mum to get up"

The cat purred and Harry turned his attention back to the bowl of cereal. After scraping out the last few little bits he headed to the third living room or the muggle room as they called it where there was a large muggle television, computer and stereo system and some other muggle knickknacks most of which were electrical.

Harry sat down in front of the television and turned it on quietly, he didn't want to wake anyone up. He watched a weather report on the summer heat wave and then flipped over to the kid's channel where a cartoon was just beginning. He watched quietly listening for any sounds around the house that might suggest someone was up. Eventually around ten he heard Dawson's CD player blasting out some song and Aimee yelling at him.

"Turn it off Daw I'm trying to sleep!" Aimee screeched

"No get lost" Dawson replied sharply

"Mum!" Aimee yelled "Mum tell him to turn it off"

"Daw can you please turn it down?" Lily said tiredly

"Sorry mum" Dawson said turning the volume down

"Mum will you make me breakfast?" Aimee asked sweetly "Now Daw's woken me up?"

"Ok sweetie what would you like?" Lily asked

"Pancakes please!" Aimee smiled

"Okay Ai" Lily agreed "why don't you go get dressed?"

"Okay mum" Aimee smiled bouncing off to her room.

Harry sighed and turned the television off and went into the kitchen.

"mum?" he asked

"What is it?" Lily replied sharply as she mixed the batter.

"You know Hogwarts letters?" Harry asked "Do the arrive early in the morning or later? Or with the other post?"

"I… You better stop getting your hopes up your probably a squib" Lily said bluntly

"But what about that time when I…" Harry asked

"Probably an accident" Lily replied "why don't you go clean your room or something"

Harry trudged back up the stairs dejectedly. He sat down heavily on his bed a stray teardrop rolling down his cheek. He wiped it away and pulled out a packet of owl treats and called Whisper over.

"Here you go girl! Happy Birthday Whisp, because its your birthday too you know" Harry said softly stroking the bird as she munched on her treat.

Harry sat stroking Whisper for a while before letting her fly back to her favorite perch. He remembered his birthday 5 years ago when he had gotten Whisper.

It was his birthday and as usual his parents had practically ignored it. However they were due a trip to Diagon alley as Aimee wanted a new robe and Dawson a new broom.

They wandered through the alley nipping into the odd shop Aimee chattering wildly about something or other. They decided to nip into Eeylops Owl Emporium for some food for the Potter owls Snickers, Nightlight, Shady, Lyric, Wish and Romany. While lily brought the owl food Dawson, Harry and Aimee were admiring the animals.

Harry found a small cage hidden in a corner with a ghostly colored white owl inside. Its wings were tattered and it looked upset and lonely. Harry fell in love with it he picked up the cage carefully and took it to the desk.

"How much is she?" he asked the man

"One galleon she's useless son, she's an old wreck" The man said

Harry dug in his pockets he had some money somewhere.

"Will you take 7 sickles and 5 knuts?" Harry asked

"Ok then son she really is no use though" The man said taking Harry's money

"I don't care she's lovely" Harry said determinedly

"She's all yours" the man said "You'll need some food for her"

"she can have some of the other owls food they wont mind" Harry said

"Harry what are you doing with that bird leave it alone" Lily's voice rang out across the shop

"I bought her mum" Harry said

"What with?" lily asked sharply

"My birthday money" Harry said " referring to the spare change his parents had given him in an envelope when their friends had been round"

"Oh" Lily said "well I supposed you better bring it. It doesn't look very good I bet it won't last more than a day."

"She will she's special" Harry told her

"That's nice Harry" Lily said dragging Harry into the next shop.

That Birthday had been Harry's best. He had Whisper and after several months of nursing her back to health she was a different bird. She could fly short distances after a year and five years later she was up to most journeys with a letter or short journeys with a package. Her wings were still tattered but her little hoots brought Harry joy to remember how he had saved her.

As she flew delicately back to the wardrobe Harry's door opened.

"Come down Harry, Moony and Padfoot Have come to say happy birthday" James said putting on a fake smile "and behave yourself remember"

Harry got up and followed his dad downstairs he loved his uncles they were so much fun. Moony was a teacher at Hogwarts and Padfoot was an Auror with Harry's dad.

"Hi Harry" Sirius beamed "Happy Birthday!"

Harry smiled as he was pulled into a bone breaking hug.

"Yeah Happy Birthday Harry!" Remus smiled "here we brought you some presents"

Remus passed over three packages. Harry opened the first one nervously inside was a new art pad and some new pencils and pencil crayons and Quill. He said Thank you and moved on to the second present inside it was a beautiful pendant on a chain. The Pendant was like a little locket and on the front was a little engraved paw print. The final present was a rather heavy book entitled "Defense against the dark arts for beginners".

"That's what book I've set for this year so you can put it ready to bring to Hogwarts with you"

"Thanks!" Harry said his heart sinking perhaps he should tell Remus he was a stupid squib now and get it over with

"So what else have you had?" Sirius asked childishly

"Erm… Mum and dad gave me erm… some chocolates, er… a new cage for Whisper and some money to get some other stuff I want." Harry said " and Ai and Daw gave me some new robes" he finished thinking be better finish this properly

"Well that's nice!" Remus smiled "Have you got your letter yet?"

"I… er…" Harry stuttered just as there was a tap at the window.

"good timing Remus…" Sirius winked

James opened the window irritably and let the owl swoop over to Harry who quickly untied the letter.

There on the back was the Hogwarts crest.

'Maybe they are writing to tell me I'm a squib so I can attend' Harry thought as he slit the letter open.

Dear Mr. H Potter

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry! Please find enclosed a list of equipment and books that are needed. Term begins on September 1st. Please reply to this owl ASAP to inform us whether you want to accept the place.

Your sincerely

Prof. McGonagall

Deputy headmistress

"Well are you going to reply then?" Sirius asked impatiently "here!" he conjured a piece of parchment "you can use your new quill!"

"Thanks" Harry said as he glanced at his dad who nodded

He wrote a quick reply saying he'd love to accept the place then he gave it back to the owl. Who promptly flew off.

"well" Remus smiled "I'll be seeing you in classes next year!"

Harry smiled weakly.

"Okay then! We should be off!" Sirius smiled "I expect to see you wearing that pendant it took me ages to find that!"

"Okay Siri" Harry agreed "Bye!"

After the two had bid farewell to Lily, James, Aimee and Dawson they left and Lily took Dawson and Aimee into the kitchen for some dinner.

"Right Boy the only reason I wont be taking those presents off you is that Sirius will want to see you wearing that pendant, and you will need that book next year as I now have no choice but to let you go to Hogwarts not that you deserve to." James spat "But you don't speak a word to anyone at that school got it? If I get any letters home and If you tell them anything…"

"Ok dad I promise" Harry agreed

James slammed Harry against the nearest wall as hard as he could so that Harry's head hit it hard and his vision spun. Harry held his head for a moment before looking back into his fathers eyes.

"You know what to expect" James spat

Harry nodded and James pushed him away so hard he fell through the coffee table.

"Get up!" James yelled

Harry did so and James mended it with a flick of his wand.

"No go to bed" He said "and I shall send your mother to fetch your school stuff and you can have Daw's old robes"

Harry nodded and hurried out of the room and up the stairs to his bed room. He sat on his bed biting back the tears he looked at his hands one of which was a bloody mess a few shards of glass were wedged in it the other just had blood on. There was a gash across his cheek and a piece of glass wedged in his are through his thick jumper. Harry gently pulled the glass out of his wounds and bandaged his hand and leg with a piece of old sheet. Then he dabbed off the cut on his face until it stopped bleeding.

He sat back and sighed he couldn't wait to get to Hogwarts and away from this place.

A/n Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I know lots of you said you cant imagine Lily and James could be like this to Harry but I'm hoping it will all come out later in the story! So bear with me:D


	3. Beatings and Beginnings

Teardrops 

Chapter 3: Beatings and Beginnings 

July turned into August. Harry spent most of his time in his room or in his favorite tree trunk, Thinking, reading his books, sleeping or playing with Whisper. He avoided his dad as much as he possibly could but unless he wanted to stave he had to see him at meals (His mum was very instant on family meals and such).

Eventually it was the night before Harry and Dawson left for Hogwarts. After a family dinner, through which Harry had to endure Dawson's boasts about playing chaser on the Gryffindor House Team. Harry made to leave.

"Where are you going?" James asked

"To bed" Harry replied

"No your not come one I want to talk to you" James said calmly "wait in the second living room"

"Ok dad" Harry agreed resentfully as he left the table

"Come on Aimee" Dawson said "I've got some doubles of chocolate frog cards for you"

"Oooh chocolate frog cards!" Aimee said following Dawson

James made to leave the room.

"James" Lily said

"Yeah" James asked

"Just… Just be careful you don't want people asking questions" Lily said nervously

"Its ok sweetie he'll keep his mouth shut he doesn't have a choice." James said giving lily a hug "The little brat won't utter a word after tonight"

Harry was waiting nervously in the second living room, pacing up and down when James entered.

"Follow me" James said harshly

"Ok" Harry muttered following James out of the room

James led Harry down into the basement of the house it was half filled with boxes, old furniture and other stuff. Inside was dark and damp and the ceiling was barely higher than James head. James pushed Harry as he reached the top of the steps and Harry fell down them and hit the floor hard he looked up his head spinning as James shut the door and came steadily down the stairs.

"You won't be telling anybody anything at Hogwarts will you?" James said threateningly

Harry shook his head

"Good other wise you will be punished hard than ever before harder than tonight right?" James asked

"Yeah dad" Harry mumbled

"And I shall lock you in here or your room if you do" James Told Harry "And you don't want to know the other punishments…"

Harry nodded and James took this as the cue he had understood and pulled him up and then pulled out his wand.

Harry cowered. He had read all about all the sorts of spell a wizard to do and he knew he'd never know what his father was going to do next not when he was using a wand.

"Expelliarmus" James yelled and Harry's wand zoomed towards him and Harry shot back and hit the wall.

"Wouldn't want to give you ideas" James smirked "You will get it back tomorrow"

Harry's head spun and the next minute it felt like someone was sat on his chest. Harry Opened his bleary eyes and saw the vague for of his father (he had lost his glasses) standing over with his wand pointed at him laughing.

"Get up" Harry heard his father shout "NOW"

Harry used the wall to support himself as the weight on his chest left and he gasped for breath. He vaguely heard his father mutter something and felt a sharp pain across his chest. He flinched. He felt another, and another. A loud crack echoed through the room every time the sharp pain attacked him moving from his chest to his shoulders and legs and arms.

Harry felt to the floor exhausted and the sharp pain moved to his back. He vaguely saw his father looking at him his wand pointed before he passed out from the pain.

"Get up" A voice said "Get to your room and get your stuff"

Harry tried to sit up and felt a sharp pain across his back and his vision swam. He carefully pulled himself up.

"Go on" James sat upstairs and don't let Dawson or Aimee see you till you've changed you have an hour to get ready then we're going.

Harry dragged himself upstairs and flopped down on his bed. After catching his breath he herded Whisper into her cage and put her food and a few other little bits in his semi packed trunk. He just put on the pendant Sirius gave him and packed his last item of clothing when he heard hid dad yelling.

"Kids come on were leaving in a minute"

Harry dragged his trunk out onto the landing and after a struggle he got it and whispers cage down to the entrance hall. As he regained his breath his father use his want to put his trunk in the car.

"Oh I forgot" James said lazily "Here" he handed over Harry's wand.

"Thanks" Harry said

"Oh and go to the bathroom and put this on your face NOW and every morning while your at Hogwarts till that bruise is gone" James said offhandedly

"Ok" Harry agreed as he headed off.

He looked in the bathroom mirror and saw what his father was talking about a large purple bruise had appeared on his cheek under his right eye where he had hit the banister of the basement stairs. He carefully rubbed the bruise cover up cream on it and it disappeared. Breathing a sigh of relief he headed back to the entrance hall. Where Dawson and Aimee were also waiting.

"Come on lets get in" Lily said as James began locking up.

Harry squeezed in the middle of the back seat between Aimee and Dawson who chattered happily. Eventually they arrived at the station.

"Everyone out dad will bring the trunks in a minute" Lily said to the three kids.

They all hopped out.

"Er Harry comes here" James said as Lily led Dawson and Aimee off.

"Yes dad" Harry asked

"Remember what I said last night" James said as he opened the boot "And don't forget it right"

"Yes dad" Harry agreed

"Now go find your mum and the others" James said

"Ok dad" Harry said as he hurried off to find the rest of his family.

After Harry caught up with them and James had arrived with the trunks Dawson spotted one of his friends and they took his luggage over to his cabin and loaded it up and said goodbye. Then Harry led them down the train and he found and empty compartment and they stowed his trunk and whispers cage and said their brief goodbyes before going to find Dawson to say goodbye again.

Harry sat in the compartment looking out the window for a while and then as the train began to move Harry closed his eyes and fell asleep he was awoken less than an hour later by someone knocking at his compartment door.

"Come in" he yawned

"Hey er sorry to disturb you but are theses seats taken? I can't find anywhere else to sit that's far enough away from the twin twits" a boy with red hair asked

"Sure take a seat" Harry smiled

"I'm Ron Weasley" the boy said holding out his hand

"Harry potter" Harry nodded

"You like Quidditch?" Ron asked excitedly

"Yeah it's great my dad was a seeker on the Gryffindor house team and my brother is a chaser" Harry told Ron

"Wow cools! My brothers are the beaters on the team" Ron said "I really want to be on the team I think I'd be good at playing chaser or keeper"

"Yeah I'd like to play" Harry agreed

"So what house do you think you're going to be in?" Ron asked "I'm hoping for Gryffindor or maybe Ravenclaw but Imagine being in Slytherin!"

Harry nodded He'd not thought about houses before what if he wasn't in Gryffindor it would be another reason for his dad to get mad at him. Surely he wasn't brave enough for Gryffindor or smart enough for Ravenclaw or evil enough for Slytherin. His heart sank maybe he'd be a Hufflepuff another family outcast.

"I'd love to be in Gryffindor like the rest of my family has been but I don't know what I'll be…" Harry said

"Well nobody does really do they?" Ron said "Let's just wait and see!"

At this precise moment the door to the compartment flung open.

"Alright Harry"

"Hi Dawson" Harry replied

"Got yourself a little friend huh?" Dawson smirked "Dad wanted me to tell you that you're to remember what he said last night and that I'm keeping and eye out for him"

"Oh alright" Harry blushed

"Right that's done I'm off" Dawson said "see you in school"

"Ok" Harry nodded as the compartment shut

"Who was that?" Ron asked

"My brother Dawson" Harry said

"Oh" Ron said

Another hour passed and the two chatted friendlily until the food trolley arrived. Harry pulled out some change (he had saved) and the ten galleons his parents had given him and brought himself and Ron a chocolate frog each.

After they had eaten the chocolate frogs and talked some more about what they expected at Hogwarts. The compartment door opened again and a girl with bushy brown hair came in.

"Er Hi" she said "Anyone see a toad?"

"No" Ron said

"Oh well. A boy named Neville ha lost one he's got us all searching for it" the girl said rolling her eyes "mind if I hide out in here so I don't have to go hunting for the stupid thing?"

"Sure take a seat" Harry said

"So who are you both?" The girl asked "I'm Hermione Granger"

"Ron Weasley" Ron muttered

"Harry Potter" Harry nodded

"I can't wait to get to Hogwarts! Can you? I never new about the magical world till I got my letter! It's all so exciting!" Hermione said quickly

"No I can't wait either" Harry agreed "are you muggle born then?"

"Yeah you?" Hermione asked

"Half blood my mum was a muggle born witch" Harry said

"Pureblood" Ron nodded

The journey continued through the countryside they held friendly conversation about Hogwarts mainly about the lessons and then Harry and Ron attempted to explain Quidditch to Hermione.

"And then the seeker chases the…" Harry was interrupted by a knock on the door

"Hi er has anyone seen a toad?" A short quite fat boy asked?

"No sorry" Harry said

"Damn it" The boy said "well I'm going to get changed a prefect in the last compartment said we were nearly there"

"I should go to" Hermione said "I need to get changed too" but just as she reached the door it opened

"So what do we have in here then?" a voice said

It was a smirking blonde boy with two big gorilla like boys either side of him.

"I don't think I've met any of you yet" The boy smirked

"I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy" he said like he was announcing royalty. "And you are?"

"Hermione Granger" Hermione introduced herself

"A Mudblood then" Draco Smirked as Harry and Ron leapt forwards "And you two prats are"

"Harry Potter" Harry said bitterly

"Ron Weasley" Ron said his face bright red

"A Potter and a Weasley" Draco said "Joy"

He pushed Harry back on his arm directly one of his whip marks from the night before. Harry flinched as he fell back on to his seat.

"You two should know better than to hang around with this sort of rubbish what is the Wizarding world coming to?" Malfoy smirked "Well must be off see you at school"

He said as he stepped back out of the compartment

"Have fun" Malfoy smirked

"Stupid prat" Ron said as Malfoy closed the door

"What did he call me?" Hermione asked

"Mudblood" Harry said darkly rubbing his arm "it means dirty blood it's a really mean thing to say"

"Oh" Hermione said "I really do have to go get changed see you later"

"Bye" Harry nodded

"See ya" Ron said "I should head back to my brothers compartment my trunk is in there! I'll be back once I've changed!"

"Okay" Harry agreed as Ron exited too.

Harry quickly got changed and by the time Ron got back he was sat in his seat starring out the window. It wasn't long until they felt the train jerk to a halt and they had arrived.

A/n thanks to everyone who reviewed!


	4. The Sorting

Teardrops

Chapter 4: The Sorting

Harry followed Ron of the train and onto a platform where they were ushered over to a large man with a lamp at the end of the platform.

"Firs' Years!" He bellowed over their heads

"All here?" He asked, no one moved "Right let's go"

He led them down a well trodden path along the edge of the forest. The moon was shining brightly across the sky lighting everything with a dim glow. The walked on until they reached a bend.

"An' you'll get yer first view o' Hogwarts from 'ere" The man said

There were several gasps as they rounded the corner. Harry followed everyone else and gasped in spite of himself at the view it was simply spectacular! And he though Godric's Hollow was big!

They headed to the edge of the lake where a fleet of boats were waiting for their arrival. They piled in Harry and Ron shared a boat with Hermione and another girl with long blonde hair. Once across the lake they jumped out of the boats and followed the man to the big main door of the building. The man knocked on the door three times and stepped back as it opened and a smartly dressed witch opened the door.

"Firs' years Professor McGonagall" He said

"Thank you Hagrid I'll take them from here" Professor McGonagall said to the man

"Ok Professor" Hagrid nodded before heading off.

"Ok follow me" Professor McGonagall said leading the first years into a room of the entrance hall.

"if you will please wait here until I return and take you to be sorted." She said calmly before leaving them.

"I wonder how they sort us?" Hermione said to Harry and Ron

"Fred and George said you had to wrestle a troll" Ron said nervously

"I over heard Dawson telling Aimee that you have to put a hat on and it reads your thoughts and puts you where you belong" Harry said

"Was he telling the truth?" Ron asked

"Think so you, don't lie to Aimee" Harry said

"Cool!" Ron smiled "something nice and easy then!"

"It must be one of the old traditions" Hermione said intrigued

Moments later the door opened and in came Professor McGonagall.

"Form a line and follow me" She said briskly.

The first years did as they were told and formed a line and followed McGonagall into the entrance hall and through the large doors opposite the door to the room they had been waiting in.

Harry gasped as he entered as did several other first years. He took in the four long house tables, the golden plates and goblets, the magnificent ceiling which reflected the sky outside.

Eventually he was stood in line with Ron one side of him and Hermione the other. Facing the school with a hat on a stool in front of him. Then the hat began to sing about the different houses. Harry listened carefully as it sang until finally it stopped and McGonagall stepped forwards.

"Abbott, Hannah!" she said reading from a long piece of parchment. A girl from the opposite end of the line stepped forward nervously and walked to the stool and placed the tattered old hat on her head.

A few moments later it shouted "HUFFLEPUFF!"

There was clapping from one of the tables and Hannah went off to join them.

The line got smaller as McGonagall read out more students names until,

"Granger, Hermione"

Hermione stepped forwards nervously and placed the hat gingerly on her hat after a couple of minutes it shouted:

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor table clapped loudly as she joined them.

The list continued until "Malfoy, Draco" was called. Harry watched as the boy placed the hat on his head but before it had barely touched his head it shouted "SLYTHERIN"

"should have know" Ron whispered in Harry's ear.

Finally the list reached "Potter, Harry"

Harry stepped forward shaking and placed the old hat on his head and a voice in his ear made him jump.

"Hmm so where to put you? You defiantly wouldn't suit Slytherin or Ravenclaw, your clever but not that clever" the hat muttered in his ear

"So its Hufflepuff or Gryffindor" The hat muttered "You are a good true friend but I have to say I think you are too brave for Hufflepuff after everything you've been through"

'Oh god it really can read my mind, what if it tells' Harry thought nervously

"Yes I can read your mind and I know about your family" The hat said in his ear "But I wont tell unless your in a lot of danger"

Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

"So GRYFFINDOR it is!" The hat shouted out the house and Harry took of the hat and took a seat at the Gryffindor table with Hermione.

They watched as the other students were sorted and eventually McGonagall Called Ron forward.

It took the hat barely two minutes to declare him a Gryffindor as well and he joined then cheerfully. Finally the last student was sorted and the wizard sat in the middle of the table who Harry presumed was professor Dumbledore, stood up.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! There is a time for speeches and this is not it! Tuck in!" He said Happily as the food appeared on the tables.

"Wow!" Ron said excitedly grabbing a chicken leg "My brothers always said the food was good but I never believed them!"

Harry laughed and took some potatoes from a nearby bowl.

After they had all finished eating and the reminder of the puddings had disappeared from the table Professor Dumbledore stood up again.

"I have a few start of term announcements!" Dumbledore announced "for the benefit of out first years and several older students the forbidden forest is as its name suggests Forbidden!" He said with a chuckle "The dates and times for the Try outs for the Quidditch teams will be posted in your common rooms as soon as they are arranged!"

Dumbledore continued on for a few minutes explaining other school matters until he announced that it was time for the students to go to bed.

"Gryffindor first years this way" said a prefect with flaming red hair like Ron "Come on Ron"

"That's my brother Percy" Ron whispered "He's prefect this year and he's been boasting about it all summer"

They followed Percy to a portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress on the seventh floor.

"Pig Snout" Percy said to the lady who opened the portrait willingly.

"Welcome to Gryffindor!" Percy said "Girls dorms are to the right boys to the left"

Harry followed Ron upstairs to the dorm. Inside he found his stuff next to the bed by the window. He took is pajamas and got changed in the toilet and also put some more cream on his face before re entering the dorm. They sat up talking for about an hour before another prefect stuck their head round their dorm door and asked them to go to sleep.

Harry snuggled down deep under the covers and fell into a reasonable peaceful sleep.

A/n Thanks to all my reviewers! Hopefully in the next chapter you should see some of the reasoning behind how Harry's parents treat him!


	5. First days, Broomsticks and Returning ho

Teardrops

Chapter 5: First days, Broomsticks and Returning home. 

"Have a good day sweetie" Lily said waving off Aimee onto the school bus.

James walked up behind her and gave her a hug as the bus moved off.

"Are you coming in for a cup of tea?" James asked

"Yeah sure" Lily said her voice sounded distant and preoccupied.

James led her to the Kitchen where they sat at the table and James used the enchanted kettle to serve their tea.

"So what's up Lil?" He asked

"I…I just wondered…" Lily trailed off

"What?" James asked

"If… if we've done the right thing by Harry." Lily muttered

"Lily look, remember when he was born? Remember what he did to you? Remember all the stuff he's done. Lil you nearly died because of that kid and he should have, look at what he put you through I hate seeing you upset lils I hate it and I hate seeing you in pain and that's all that kid has ever caused." James said "He deserves everything he gets"

"Yeah defiantly" lily said more confidently "yeah I… I remember"

"Good" James said "anyway he won't tell anyone he knows what he deserves."

Lily nodded.

Harry put his fork down and stood up from the table.

"Lets go then!" Hermione said enthusiastically as Ron yawned

"What's first?" Harry asked

"Charms" Hermione said excitedly "come on"

Harry followed Hermione and the still yawning Ron out of the great hall and up the stairs.

"A prefect said that charms was just up this corridor" Hermione explained as she led the two boys up a corridor on their left.

She was right and they entered the charms classroom as the bell rang. The first charms lesson was nothing short of dull. They didn't do any magic straight off (which Ron was particularly annoyed about) they began with the theory of Magic. The lesson past reasonably quickly and before they knew it they were headed towards transfiguration where Professor McGonagall transfigured a table into a pig to demonstrate what transfiguration was. After transfiguration was break then History of magic – easily the most boring class of the day and double Herbology (where they all got ditched and had to change before lunch!) Then after lunch they had double Defense against the dark arts which was easily the best class of the day.

"Hi Harry" Remus smiled as Harry, Ron and Hermione entered his classroom "How are you?"

"Fine thanks Re- I mean Professor" Harry smiled as he took his seat.

Remus's lesson was a lot more interesting than any others. He showed them the effects of several basic curses and hexes and how they could be used in battle.

After the lesson Harry headed up to his dorm to put some more cream on his face before dinner. After he had quickly re-applied it he hurried downstairs to join his new friends.

The next month passed quickly. Harry's friendship with Ron and Hermione grew quickly. It soon became well known Hermione was a bookworm who enjoyed being placed at the top of every class. On however was the exact opposite. Loved Quidditch and when they finally started broom riding lessons he was the first person outside (Closely followed by Harry). Harry Had been waiting to fly since before he could remember.

"Good morning everybody" Madam hooch their flying instructor.

"Good morning madam Hooch!" the gryffindors and the slytherins chanted back.

"Today you shall be learnig the basics of broomstick riding. Firstly please place your hand over your broom and say up!" She said

Harry placed is right hand above the broom just like he'd seen Dawson do many a time when showing Aimee and shouted "up!"

Harry was not expecting the broom to do what it did. Fly straight into his hand. He smiled

"well done Mr. Potter ten points to Gryffindor" madam hooch smiled as she checked over a Slytherin whose broom had just hit him particularly hard.

"Now I would like you to mount your brooms" Madam hooch instructed after everyone was holding their brooms. "And on my whistle kick off from the ground!"

The whistle sounded and Harry kicked off and felt the most wonderful feeling. However his Happy feeling was short lasted as Neville Longbottom's broom spiraled out of control and several people fell unexpectedly back to the floor. Madam hooch screaming instructions at Neville who had turned white. Harry watched from his place on his broom as Neville shot around the court the broom bouncing off the walls, clinging on for dear life. Harry didn't know why he did what he did next but as Neville's broom headed determinedly towards the east tower for the third time he shot off.

"Mr. Potter!" Madam hooch yelled but Harry ignored her.

He just had a feeling. As Neville hit the wall towards the top of the tower the broom finally snapped and Neville was flung forwards, nearly fifty feet of the ground screaming. Harry quickly darted underneath and managed to catch Neville's Robes as he fell and pulled him on to the back of his broom. Harry then rode the broom slowly back to the ground where he deposited a white faced Neville and was congratulated by the waiting Gryffindor's.

"That was an excellent piece of flying Mr. Potter. I suppose your father taught you. He was an excellent flyer himself."

"Actually he didn't" Harry said quietly. "That's the first time I have ever been on a broom." He blushed

"Really? Well I shall be recommending you for the Gryffindor team tryouts I believe they are looking for a new seeker" madam hooch smiled "I can certainly see you being an asset."

"Thanks Professor" Harry smiled

"Now back to your dorms the lot of you" Madam Hooch said

Harry, Ron and Hermione headed back up to the castle excitedly.

"I wish I'd get recommended by Hooch" Ron daydreamed

"I'll recommend you as a chaser or keeper if I get on the team" Harry smiled

"Great!" Ron grinned back

The week before the tryouts passes rapidly and soon Harry found himself nervously standing on the pitch with about five other hopefuls. When Dawson spotted him he came over.

"you shouldn't be here your too young and you've never flown a broom in your life" Dawson said harshly

"I was recommended by madam hooch" Harry said calmly

"Oh were you what a story" Dawson said sarcastically

"actually Daw he was" Oliver Wood the team captain said coming over

"Whatever" Dawson said

"Hi you must be Harry" Oliver wood smiled "I'm Oliver Wood but most people just call me wood"

Harry smiled and shook his hand.

"Now on with the tryouts" Oliver smiled

"Ok right everyone line up with your broom sticks then one at a time I'll call you forwards and Fred and George will set off the snitch and I shall time your catch. You'll have two goes and the best catch mixed with the best skills will be on the team." Wood shouted "Ok Pearson, Davy" a boy to one side of Harry in the line stepped forwards and took off. He was fairly quick but had very little skill in riding a broom and nearly fell off more time than Harry could count. As he went round Harry let forward to wood.

"Wood?" He asked nervously

"Yeah?" Wood replied

"I haven't got my own broom" Harry said

"No problem you can borrow mine" Wood smiled handing over his own broom

"Thanks" Harry smiled "sorry"

"Don't worry we all know the rules for first years" Wood smiled

"Ok Samson, Bella" Wood called

Bella was worse than the first boy it took her at least three quarters on an hour to catch the snitch and her style wasn't amazing either.

The next too flyers weren't much better. The first a second year had the speed and skill but ended up not even seeing the snitch the whole time he was in the air. Harry spotted it hovering near the stands which obviously the other boy didn't. and the second a fifth year nearly crashed into the stands twice and actually crashed into them the third time after catching the snitch. Next was Harry.

He took of on Woods broom and noticed how smooth it was compared to the school broom he had been riding last week. He did a lap of the stands scanning for the snitch and noticed it hanging around near one of the goalposts. He Shot after it and grabbed it straight away.

Finally it was the final student. A seventh year who it seemed was desperately trying to get on the team before he left. However he had several near misses with the ground and the stands before he hit the middle goalpost.

"That settles it! Harry was defiantly the best" Wood smiled "Your on the team"

"What?" Dawson said "He got on?"

"Yes he clearly out performed the others" Wood said angrily "he's your brother Daw honestly you should be happy for him"

"Yeah well…" Dawson stuttered " wait till dad heres about this" he said to Harry before storming off

"Sorry" Harry said

"That's ok" wood grinned "No offense but your brothers always been a bit of a git. I dont think he's pleased you'll be getting some of the glory"

"Yeah" Harry sighed

Harry's first match was scheduled for late January. Team practice sessions we always fun no matter what taunts he received from Dawson. The last month before Christmas passed quickly. Ron had invited Harry to visit him for the first week of the holidays. However Harry received the unwanted reply that he was to come home for the whole holidays and he maybe would be allowed to visit Ron's on the first Monday as his parents, Aimee and Dawson needed to go Christmas shopping. Harry regretfully told Ron he couldn't come for the week only that Monday. So they arrived back on the train on Friday night.

Harry stepped of the train and wondered over to where his parents were stood greeting Dawson.

" You must be Harry's parents" said friendly voice from behind him.

"Yes we are" James said

"I'm Molly Weasley, Ron's mum" she said shaking James's Hand.

"Nice to meet you" Lily smiled nicely

"Ron said in his last letter that you agreed for Harry to come over to us on Monday" Molly smiled "I just wanted to check the arrangements"

"Oh yes" James said "Yeah are you connected up to the floo?"

"Yes of course" Molly said

"we'll send Harry via the floo then at about nine" James said "What's your House"

"The Burrow" Mrs. Weasley smiled "well I shall look forward to seeing him"

James smiled "one of us will pick him up in the afternoon"

"Ok then" Molly said cheerfully "see you then"

"Yes see you then" James nodded as she walked off wit ha pack of Weasley children following her.

"Come on boy lest get you home" James spat in Harry's ear.

Harry knew what was coming that night before he even left the station.

Once they arrived home James came up behind Harry.

"The attic now" he whispered in his ear

Harry trudged up three flights of stairs and up the rickety stair case that led to the attic. He sat on one of the large boxes and waited for his fathers return. He didn't have to wait long.

"Now" James said as he clicked to door shut "have we been good, Not spoken a word?"

"I haven't said a word" Harry said shrinking back

"To anyone?" James asked

"No one" Harry said

"Good" James nodded "And what is this I hear about you deliberately making your brother look stupid and joining the Quidditch team?"

"I didn't make him look stupid" Harry said

"Liar!" James shouted pushing Harry backwards so he fell off the box.

"I didn't mean too!" Harry said

"Well in the future you will keep a low profile, No showing off and you will always let your brother have the glory he deserves got it?" James spat

"Yes dad" Harry muttered as James picked him up by his collar and punched him hard in the stomach.

"If I hear about any other problems like that again you shall be off that Quidditch team before you can say snitch. Got it?" James said harshly

"Yes dad" Harry replied as he received kick.

"Good I'm glad we got that straight" James said pushing Harry away from him into the corner of one of the boxes.

"Oh and stay out of our way" James said aiming one final half hearted kick at Harry "we've got used to not being disturbed by your stupid little pathetic games."

"Yes dad" Harry gasped as James headed out of the door turning off the light.

Harry sat in the dark for a few minutes catching his breath. Before standing up and carefully trying to make his way over to the door.

A/n Thanks to all my reviewers Just a note to everyone reading/ following this or ANY of my stories! **I will be changing my username before next time I update! I will be changing it to ShadowPrincess (unless that name is taken) or PunkRockPrincess (as my second choice) if both are taken I will ShadowPrincess12!**


	6. The Knife

Teardrops

Chapter 6: The Knife

Harry stumbled into his room shutting the door behind him. He flopped down on his bed silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He'd been home for one night and his father had already succeeded in beating him up twice. His back stung from where he had be pressed against the burning hot fireplace in the main living room while his fathers taunts danced in his ears. His jumper had a large rip where the fireplace had been pressing against his back. His chest felt heavy from where his father had stood on him. There was glass in his left arm from yet another landing on the coffee table.

He sighed. Noticing whisper was tapping at the window he opened it up and let her in. he opened his top draw and pulled out the little pen knife Sirius had given him for his birthday after he had got Whisper 'too cut the strings off the owls legs' he had explained and then whispered in Harry's ear 'and the other bit of it will open any lock'

Harry flicked open the pen knife and cut the strings neatly and glanced at the letter.

_Harry_

_Hey mate hope your having a good holiday so far! Could you bring your broom on Monday? As the twins want to go up in the orchard and play if we have time and we don't have enough! _

_Seeya soon!_

_Ron_

Harry's hopes dropped where was he going to get a broom from? He sighed maybe his dad would let him have one of Dawson's old ones.

He stowed the letter in his draw and opened the window again for whisper who wanted to go out hunting. Before sitting back on his bed. He picked up the knife from the side of him to put it away but instead found himself staring at the shiny blade.

'What if…' Harry thought but he quickly shuck his head he watched as the blade glimmered in the light.

He gently placed it against his skin. It was cold and its touch comforted him finally he had the control. One swipe and he could leave this world. He gently moved the knife down his arm a little. 'surely it couldn't hurt to see what it felt like' he pressed it slightly and dragged the blade across his skin. A thin line of blood appeared and the wound stung slightly. Harry watched in amazement. It felt wonderful. That one little cut lifted his spirits a little. He dragged the blade across again and again, twice, three times more until he heard the stairs creak. He dropped the knife. 'shit' he thought grabbing an old shirt and placing it over the cuts dabbing off the blood. Quickly he put the knife and the shirt into his trunk and pulled his sleeve down.

He then realized his shirt still had a huge hole at the back and the other sleeve was bloody and torn. He pulled of the shirt. He sat on his bed for a minute removing any glass he could see from his arm before pulling on his old long-sleeved green shirt and heading downstairs to the kitchen.

Lily was sat at the table. She ignored Harry as he walked in and as he pulled out some bread from the bread bin and a pot of jam. He made himself a quick sandwich and quickly left the room. He headed up to the third living room. Checking no one was inside he flopped down in a chair and ate his sandwich slowly. His mind buzzing. After the sandwich was finished he returned the plate and ran into his dad in the kitchen.

James ignored his youngest son.

"Dad?" Harry asked

"yes" James said irritably

"I..er…I wondered if… It would be possible for me… to erm… have my own broom…" Harry asked nervously

"What?" James asked

"not a good one just one of Dawsons older ones… Ron wants me to take a broom with me on Monday and I need one really cause I'm on the house team." Harry explained

James was stumped… "I er suppose so. You can have his old comet he never uses it."

"Thanks" Harry said before he left

"You better not go expecting anything else" James said Harshly "Your only getting this because they'll notice if you don't have your own broom."

"I know dad" Harry said as he left the room and headed back up to his own.

Finally Monday morning arrived. Harry packed up a little rucksack and took his broom out of the cupboard.

"You do realize" Came his fathers voice from behind him "That you can class that broom as yourt Christmas present and you defiantly wont be getting anything else"

"Yes dad" Harry replied

"Go on then floo over to your friends house" James said harshly

"Yes dad" Harry muttered grabbing a handful of floo powder "The burrow!"

Harry stepped into the green fire and tucked in his elbows as he was flooed into the Weasley's kitchen. Standing back up he glanced around. The kitchen was a lot smaller than the kitchen back at Godric's Hollow but much more friendly.

"Harry!" Ron's voice said from the door "I thought I heard something"

"Hey Ron" Harry smiled

"Come on lets go up to my room, you can leave your broom there" Rom grinned

Harry followed Ron up a rickety stair case right to what Harry presumed must be the top of the building. He was finding it hard to breath he had climbed so many stairs and his chest was still sore from his dad standing on it the night before last.

"You alright?" Ron asked

"Yeah fine" Harry gasped

"Here" Ron said showing Harry into a room to the right.

Harry honestly thought he had stepped into a fire or something everything was florescent orange.

"Wow" Harry said

Ron's room wasn't much smaller than Harry's own. Everything was covered in Chuddley Cannons merchandise, Ron's favorite Quidditch team.

"Like it?" Ron asked

"Yeah its really cool" Harry smiled

"Spent ages collecting all the posters" Ron smiled "Anyway you can leave your bag here for now if you want and we'll go find the twins and play Quidditch in the orchard"

"Ok cool!" Harry grinned.

It didn't take long to find the twins and soon the four of them were trekking up to the orchard. Harry mounted his new broom and did a lap of the orchard before they started playing with the apples that had fallen from the trees. (Ron explained they couldn't have really Quidditch balls out incase they headed off into the village.) After a fun and exhausting morning the four of them headed back to the Burrow, where Mrs. Weasley was waiting with plates of sausage and chips for dinner. Then were joined a few minutes later by a small red haired girl who Harry presumed to be Ginny Ron's younger sister and Percy the prefect.

After the dinner they went up to Ron's room and played wizard chess and gobstones before Mrs. Weasley's voice rang up the stairs "Harry dear your mothers here"

Harry picked up his bag and he and Ron headed downstairs.

"Hi mum" Harry said

"Hi Harry ready to go?" Lily said in her 'motherly voice'

"Yes mum" Harry said "Bye Ron, Mrs. Weasley, Thank you for having me"

"That's ok dear anytime" Mrs. Weasley smiled and passed him his broom

"Bye" Harry waved as he stepped into the fire "Godric's Hollow!"

His mother followed seconds later.

"Right you can go to your room for a bit" she said

"mum?" Harry asked

"What" she said harshly

"I… I just wondered if Ron could come over here for a bit one day?" Harry asked

"Well maybe it would be rude not to invite him over" Lily said "Now go to your room"

"Ok" Harry said hopefully.

The next day Harry woke up to his fathers yells.

"Harry Potter get down here NOW" He yelled

Harry rolled over a groaned swinging his legs over the edge of his bed and standing up. He made his way down to the second living room where his dads yells were coming from.

"Get in here and clean this up now!" James yelled

Harry looked inside the room and saw the floo powder pot which had been knocked over and its contents spilt across the floor. The Christmas tree had been knocked over and several glasses and empty bowls of food and packets littered the floor. Obviously during the night Dawson had had a few friends over.

"Now!" James yelled. "Clean up your mess"

"But dad…" Harry stuttered

"No buts!" James said pushing Harry back so he stumbled and fell backwards onto the floor. "Now!"

"Yes dad" Harry stuttered as his dad slammed the door shut.

Harry started cleaning up the mess tears falling down his face. It didn't take him long and then he returned to his room. He pulled open the draw and pulled out the knife again.

The Christmas holiday was an unusually bad one for Harry. He spent as much time as he could in his room. But couldn't evade his dad for long. He was given almost daily beatings for anything and everything. It seemed James was trying to take out the whole terms frustrations over his son.

On Christmas day they were joined by Remus and Sirius. Harry pulled on his best sweater (one of Dawson's old ones) and came down stairs the family had already opened all their presents before Harry came downstairs to await the arrival of Sirius and Remus, Who arrived just in time for dinner.

"Here you go Harry!" Sirius said passing him a present which Harry opened eagerly. Inside was a large selection of sweets and a broomstick care kit.

"We heard you had a broom for your birthday" Remus smiled

"Thanks" Harry smiled back

After dinner Harry headed up to his room to 'polish his broom' and after Remus and Sirius had left James came storming into Harry's room.

"Give me that!" he snatched up Harry's presents. "You don't deserve these" she spat as he stormed back out.

Harry Stared at the door in shock for a minute before collapsing on his bed tears rolling down his pale cheeks. He sobbed into his pillow for what seemed like hours and shook with exhaustion before he fell into a fitful sleep.

The rest of the holiday seemed to past slower than ever to Harry but finally he was on the train back to Hogwarts knife safely stored in his pocket.

A/n before anyone says anything I know I should have made it clear from the beginning I was intending to have Harry becoming a Self Harmer… I did intend from when I started writing this for Harry to begin to Self Harm but don't worry harrys life will get better I promise! Thanks to all my reviewers!


	7. Concerns

Teardrops

Chapter 7: Concerns

Late Christmas day Remus and Sirius had returned to the apartment they shared in London. Remus headed into his office to sort out what he was meaning to take back to Hogwarts the next day while Sirius lounged around watching muggle television in the living room. As Remus packed he though back to the meal and Harry's quick disappearance. He new Harry was quite quiet and hid away a lot but every time Remus visited he seemed to become more and more distanced. Remus was puzzled by his behavior. He clicked his case shut and placed it beside the fire place ready for the next day.

Remus settled down on the sofa and watched as Sirius snoozed quietly in the armchair across the room. Come to think of it James hardly talked about Harry. Remus puzzled himself even more, Remus knew James and the James he knew would have boasted for about ten years about how his some was the youngest seeker in a century but James had never mentioned it.

Remus was starting to feel something was wrong. But he just couldn't put his finger on it. He'd just have to talk to Harry at school, that or keep and eye on him. He sighed and stood back up off the sofa and turned the television off conjured a blanket which he through over Sirius before heading into his bedroom.

Remus returned to Hogwarts the next day and began working on his term plans. He didn't see Harry for another week as he was to stay home for the rest of the holiday. When he returned Remus watched carefully from the teachers table as he engaged in conversations with his friends only when he was prompted to do so. Remus decided he'd hold him back after the first lesson and ask if there was anything wrong.

After a long day finally the first years were piling into Remus's classroom. After the lesson Remus tapped Harry on the shoulder.

"Could you stay behind a minute Harry?" Remus asked

"Yes Professor" Harry muttered thinking he was in trouble.

Remus waited till the rest of the class had left before shutting the door and turning to the frightened first year.

"Alright Harry?" Remus asked

"Yes professor" Harry nodded

"You don't have to call me professor when your not in classes" Remus smiled

"Oh ok Remus sorry" Harry said nervously

"Did you have a good holiday?" Remus asked

"Yes Thanks" Harry said

"And did you like the sweets and broomstick servicing kit?" Remus asked

"Yes" Harry said "I…I've already eaten all the sweets and Dawson borrowed the kit after I'd finished giving my broom a good going over"

Remus smiled

"I was just wondering, you seemed a little distant Harry. Are you ok?" Remus asked

"Yeah I'm fine just a little tired" Harry said nervously avoiding Remus's eyes

"Ah ok then" Remus smiled "well if you do have any problems you know you can always come and see me." Remus said softly

"Ok Remus" Harry nodded

"You better be getting back to your class mates" Remus said "I'll see you later"

"Ok" Harry said breathing a sigh of relief – his father hadn't asked Remus to punish him. "Thanks see you later Remus"

"Bye" Remus said as Harry slipped out of the door.

There was defiantly something different about Harry and Remus was determined to get to the bottom of it.

The beginning of term passed in a rush of Lessons and Quidditch practice for Harry. His first Quidditch match was fairly eventful. His parents along with Aimee had arrived to watch Dawson Play and to cheer him on.

Harry watched as they gave him minimal applause as he caught the snitch in just over three quarters of an hour. He smiled despite everything and hung around in the common room for half an hour of so before making the excuse he wanted to see if his parents were still in the castle and left the common room. He headed down the corridors at a fast walk until he came across an unused classroom on the third floor. He pulled out his knife and rolled up his sleeve and placed the blade gently up against his arm. Pressing down as the tears started falling. Again and again he pressed the blade to his skin and watched as the blood welled up and trickled over. He was just dabbing at his cuts with a cloth, when he heard footsteps. Pulling his sleeves down quickly and stuffing the knife and the cloth into his pocket he turned just in tiem to see the door open.

"There you are" James spat as he spotted his son

"Dad… I… I though you had gone" Harry stuttered

"Of course I haven't gone I've been congratulating Dawson on his performance. Which you totally ruined by all your glory seeking" James said harshly pushing Harry so he fell backwards into a table.

"Sssorry dad" Harry muttered "I was only trying to win for Gryffindor to keep up the family name"

"You don't deserve to be in this family" James spat viciously kicking his son hard in the stomach.

Harry didn't say anything. He just let out a gasp of pain.

James grabbed the nearest thing to hand which happened to be an old chair leg, and whacked Harry across the chest with it. Harry gasped and spluttered as the chair leg hit him again this time across his shoulder and his father grabbed his left arm which was covered in fresh wounds. Harry let out another gasp of pain as James pulled him to his feet. And before he knew it he was back on the floor after James swung the piece of wood at him hard. Harry could barely breath an was spluttering as James gave him a final kick and muttered "Remember" before leaving the room. Harry tried to regain his breath and pushed the piece of wood to the side and pulled out his knife again and began to make another few cuts on his wrist. He had just made his final cut when he heard more footsteps and hastily pulled his sleeve down again and pushed the knife and cloth into his pocket expecting the return of his father.

"Harry?" Remus's voice asked softly

Harry stood up slowly as Remus entered

"What are you doing in here?" Remus asked "why aren't you celebrating?"

Harry shrugged

"Are you alright?" Remus asked concerned

"Yeah fine" Harry muttered "I must get back to the common room people will be wondering where I got to"

"Yeah" Remus agreed "Want me to walk back with you?"

"I'm ok thanks" Harry said wincing

"You don't look very well" Remus said concerned "Are you sure you're ok?"

"yeah I'm fine" Harry muttered "just a little tired from the match that's all"

"ok if your sure" Remus shrugged

"Yeah I'm sure" Harry nodded "I must be going I think I'm going to turn in early"

"Ok Harry Night" Remus smiled weakly

"Night Remus" Harry said before leaving Remus alone in the room.

The week passed slowly. Harry was still sore after his latest run in with his father even Hermione and Ron noticed there was something wrong with him. Remus became increasingly worried. He decided it was time he and Harry had another chat after he had been approached by the pair of first years.

Remus was sat in his office marking some of his fifth years work when he heard a small knock on the door.

"Come in" he said and the door opened an in came a very nervous Hermione and Ron.

"Take a seat" he smiled pointing at the pair of seats in front of him

"Sir we're worried about Harry" Hermione said nervously

Remus put down his piece of parchment and his quill and looked at the pair of terrified first years.

"Yeah" Ron agreed "he's been really weird I don't think he's very well"

"What makes you say that?" Remus asked

"He's really pale and has become really quiet" Hermione said "and then he disappears occasionally sometimes for a few minutes other times for a couple of hours"

Remus nodded

"Don't worry I'll have a talk with him later and see if I can get to the bottom of the problem. Ok?" Remus said softly

"Thanks sir" Ron said and Hermione nodded as they stood up and left the office.

Remus sighed and put the marking away and decided to hold Harry back after their class the next day. He headed into his bedroom with a flick of his wand the lights in his office dimmed and he stepped into his pajamas and slipped into his bed.

A/n Thanks to all my reviewers! The next chapter will be up ASAP!


	8. The Truth

Teardrops

Chapter 8: the truth 

"Harry could I have a word with you again?" Remus asked as the first years packed up their stuff the following day.

"But I have potions…" Harry protested

"I'll write a letter to professor Snape explained your absence" Remus said "Don't worry"

So as the rest of the class left the classroom and wound their way towards Snape's dungeon classroom Harry was left sat at his desk in the defense against the dark arts classroom.

"Come on Harry lets go talk in my office" Remus said nodding towards the door to his office. He led Harry though and indicated for him to sit in the seat opposite the desk, which Harry did so nervously.

"Harry I wanted to know if you were ok" Remus asked "you haven't been yourself recently and even Ron and Hermione Have noticed"

Harry winced and looking into Remus's eyes.

"I'm fine" he muttered

"Harry its obvious your not fine" Remus said softly "so why don't you tell me what's the matter?"

"Nothings the matter" Harry said jumping in quickly

"Harry…" Remus said "Please tell me the truth"

"Even if I wanted to I couldn't" Harry said quickly

"Why not?" Remus asked

"I promised" Harry said looking at his hands

"Promised who?" Remus probed

"None one" Harry muttered

"None one?" Remus asked "You had to have promised someone"

Harry was silent

"Harry?" Remus said "who did you promise?"

Harry muttered something quietly

"Who? I didn't hear you" Remus said

"My dad" Harry muttered

"James?" Remus asked "what did you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Nothing" Harry said hurriedly

"Harry? Please tell me maybe I can help" Remus pleaded

Harry just shook his head and wiped tear from his eye.

"Harry?" Remus said looking at the small boy in front of him "Come on Harry you know you can trust me" he came from behind the desk and sat in the chair next to him and put an arm around the small boy.

Harry flinched and then relaxed as Remus pulled him into a hug.

"Come on Harry please" Remus said softly wondering what was upsetting Harry

"I…I…I…" Harry stuttered "I can't say"

"Harry please!" Remus sighed "if it's something that's upsetting you then you need to tell someone"

Harry looked up into Remus's eyes wondering if he should tell or not.

"He made me promise" Harry muttered

"Please" Remus said desperately

"I…" Harry stalled a muttered something under his breath

"Harry?" Remus asked again

"He hits me" Harry said is a voice so quiet Remus could barely hear him. Harry burst out sobbing and Remus hugged him despite his shock at what Harry had just said.

"Harry why didn't you tell any of us?" Remus said softly

"He told me not too" Harry muttered "and I deserve it"

"Nobody deserves that Harry" Remus muttered softly hugging the boy closer.

"I know this is hard Harry but could you tell me a few things?" Remus asked

Harry pondered for a minute and then nodded.

"How long has this been going on for?" Remus asked

"I don't know" Harry said "They always hated me, I think I was about five the first time he hit me"

Remus tried his best to not look shocked and once he regained his composure he spoke once again.

"Does he ever do it to Dawson or Aimee?" Remus asked

"No he likes them he doesn't like me" Harry muttered.

"When was the last time he hit you?" Remus asked gently

"Saturday" Harry said

"What after the Quidditch?" Remus asked and Harry nodded

"Was that just before I found you?" Remus asked and Harry nodded again

"Do you have any injuries that you want me to fix?" Remus asked kindly but Harry looked wild eyed his arm…

"I…I…" Harry stuttered

"Please Harry let me help" Remus asked

Harry stalled and then nodded Remus took out his wand, true he was no expert healer but he had had plenty of experience healing himself after particularly viscous full moons. Harry rolled up his jumper and Remus gasped at the huge purple bruises covering his chest and the welts across his back as well multiple other cuts. Remus set to work straight away conjuring some cream and applying it to the bruises, welts and cuts.

Eventually he finished and Harry put is jumper down again and Remus invited him to sit down next to the fire in one of his arm chairs and have a drink.

"Do you want to go back to the common room?" Remus asked "it's nearly time for classes to finish"

"Okay" Harry agreed draining his cup.

"Will you come here tomorrow so we can talk?" Remus asked

"Yeah sure" Harry muttered

"Ok see you then" Remus nodded

"Ok" Harry said standing up and picking up his bag.

"Bye then Harry" Remus said

"Bye Remus" Harry replied before slipping out of the door.

He began heading towards Gryffindor tower before reconsidering his ideas and taking a left when he came to the corridor on which the entrance to Gryffindor tower was situated and heading away from the portrait.

What had he been thinking? He'd just told Remus! Remus would tell his dad! His dad would be mad. Harry shuddered and turned into the boys bathrooms at the end of the corridor. Dumping his bag on the floor he slumped down next to it. After a minute of digging around in the front pocket he pulled out what he'd been looking for. His Knife.

Meanwhile Remus had flooed over to Godric's Hollow to pay a visit to his friend.

"Remus? What brings you here?" James asked cheerfully as Remus entered the kitchen.

"Can I have a word James?" Remus asked "I'm private" he gestured at Aimee who was sat at the table and Lily who was stood next to the sink

"Sure come one we'll go to the study" James agreed cheerfully.

They entered the study and James clicked the door shut behind them.

"I wanted a word about Harry" Remus said

"What's the little… "James paused for a second re thinking his sentence "What's he been doing"

"It's not what he's been doing its more what you've been doing" Remus said angrily

James Paled

"I haven't done anything and don't let that little brat tell you otherwise" James spat

"Harry told me about what you've been doing to him" Remus said

"Oh has he indeed!" James said sarcastically

"You're his father how could you do something like that to him?" Remus asked "He's a sweet kid…"

"He deserves everything he gets." James butted in

"No Child deserves that!" Remus said angrily

"No child but Him" James muttered irritably

"How can you say that?" Remus asked shocked "How can you stand there in front of me knowing about all the abuse you've used against your on son!"

"He's a lying attention seeking little brat and deserves every little bit of it" James yelled harshly "You believe the little brat?"

"Of course I do I've seen the bruises James and I know Harry wouldn't lie" Remus said defensively

"Of course he would!" James said

"Stop covering your tracks James we all know what you've done stop trying to tell me differently!" Remus Yelled

James Paused

"Why James? Why?" Remus asked

"He nearly killed lily didn't he?" James said

"So that means he deserves as much pain as you can cause does it?" Remus asked harshly "Just because of something that happened that he couldn't control that means you have to take it on him? You're sick James"

"No I'm not he did deserve it! He nearly killed lily you know everyone thought she was going to die! And he upset her! She was so hopeful for a girl and after everything when he was born she was so unhappy!" James argued

"James its still no reason for you to abuse him! Stop making excuses and listen for once in your life!" Remus spat "Harry's going to come live with me! I won't involve the department of social and family incidents if you leave him alone."

"Good you take him I don't want him!" James hissed "No go get his stuff he's never setting foot in this house again!"

"Fine but not only have you lost your son, not that you loved him anyway, you've lost one of your best friends over this! Abusing him was never the way out your problems!" Remus said harshly leaving James stood shocked by the door of the study. Remus stormed up to Harry's room and with a couple of flicks of his wand he conjured a trunk and loaded it. After the room was empty he placed a hovering charm on it and floated it downstairs in front of him.

"Remus what's going on?" Lily asked form the kitchen

"Oh don't tell me you don't know what your husband was doing to your son!" Remus said angrily

Lily paled and stepped back "I didn't ask him too"

"Yeah but you never stopped it either" Remus said "Sorry Lily but it's the truth."

With that he walked past Lily into the kitchen and flooed back to the castle the trunk in his hand.

A/n Thanks to all my reviewers! Especially those who asked about why Remus couldn't smell the blood because you've given me an idea for later in the story! All will be explained later! Thanks again to everyone!


	9. Confrontation

Teardrops

Chapter 9: Confrontation 

"I'm so stupid" Harry muttered as he dragged the knife across skin again and again pressing harder than ever. He watched as the blood flowed freely from his fresh wounds.

'I could just end it all now' Harry thought watching as the blood poured from his arm 'it would be so easy' His thought turned to Remus, Ron and Hermione and Harry dropped the blade sobbing he couldn't do it he just couldn't.

Harry stood up feeling slightly dizzy and wiped his tear-stained face. He had to get back to the common room everyone would wonder where he had gotten too. His wrist stung but he ignored it as he left the bathroom and hurried down the corridor and into the common room.

"Harry! Where have you been?" Hermione asked as he entered the common room

"Talking to Professor Lupin" Harry said

"Snape's fuming" Ron grinned

Harry rolled his eyes

"What did he want to talk to you about?" Hermione asked

Harry froze

"Oh it was family matter nothing big" Harry stuttered "I… I'm going to go to bed early I'm tired"

"Ok Harry, You don't look very well an early night would probably do you some good" Hermione smiled

"I'm fine" Harry said grabbing hold of the sofa for support as his legs had turned to jelly. "I'll just go get an early night"

"Ok Night mate" Ron said

"Night" Hermione nodded

Harry headed up to the dorm and pulled on his pajamas quickly and flopped into his bed. He was tired but he couldn't sleep. What was his dad going to say when he found out what Harry had done?

Harry's thought turned to the blade again. He shook his head and ran a finger of the fresh wounds on his arm.

Harry tossed and turned all night and got up in the morning more tired than he had been when he went to sleep. He headed down tot the great hall but before he could sit down Remus tapped him on the shoulder.

"Can I have a quick word?"

"Yeah" Harry agreed

Remus led Harry to his office and conjured up a tray of food.

"Help yourself" Remus nodded

"Thanks" Harry said helping himself to a piece of toast.

"Harry last night after you left my office I went to see your dad." Remus said

Harry stopped eating swallowed and looked up at Remus nervously

"Did…did you tell him I told you" he said his eyes full of fear

"Yes Harry" Remus nodded and Harry looked back down at his lap "But don't worry your not going back"

Harry looked up hopefully

"You'll be coming back with me at the end of the term" Remus informed him

Harry looking to Remus's eyes not daring to believe what Remus was saying.

"Don't worry Harry I won't let him hurt you anymore it's got to stop" Remus pulled Harry into a hug.

"Thanks Remus" Harry nodded

"If you want to come to my office tonight you can settle into your room" Remus offered

"I have a room here?" Harry asked

"Yep I spend most of the holidays in school as well as the term so my flat is more of a holiday house than a permanent residence!" Remus smiled "You can have my guest room I think you'll like It and you can have it done up however you want!"

"Thanks!" Harry grinned

"Well you better be off you'll be late for Charms! And I'll be late for my Fourth years…" Remus sighed

Harry waved goodbye to Remus and set off towards the charms classroom.

After dinner Harry excused himself and hurried up to Remus's office.

"Come in" Remus said as Harry knocked on his door

"Ah Harry!" Remus smiled "I was hoping you'd turn up soon, I need an excuse to leave my marking for a while the second years ideas on how to defeat crups are driving me up the wall!"

Harry smiled even though he wasn't sure exactly what a crup was…

"Follow me" Remus smiled "I've brought all your stuff from Godric's Hollow"

Remus led Harry through a door to the right of his desk and Harry found himself in a Luxurious Red and Gold decorated living room.

"This is the Living room" Remus smiled "and area over there is a kinda dining area for if I want to eat in here rather than the great hall all I have to do is call a house elf and they'll serve the food."

"This is the bathroom" Remus said showing Harry rather large room with what looked like a miniature swimming pool in it. "And this is the toilet" Remus said showing Harry a separate room with a toilet and shower decorated in a similar fashion to the bathroom.

"This is my room" Remus opened the door to his room and let Harry have a look in. the room was decorated with red velvet and mahogany furnishings.

"And finally this is your room" Remus said opening a door and leading Harry inside

There was a large four poster bed in the middle of the room. By the window was a small desk and in one corner of the room was a wardrobe and the other a bookcase. Opposite the bed was a chest of draws and everything was white.

"Like it Harry?" Remus asked

"It's amazing" Harry grinned "But why is everything white?"

"Ah that's so you can chose how to decorate the room!" Remus smiled "So what's it going to be?"

"Red and gold of course!" Harry grinned "Can I have red velvet like your room and a reasonably dark colored wood for the bed, draws and desk? And a red carpet and can I have little gold tassels on the curtains and bed spread?"

"Yep" Remus smiled and with a wave of his wand the room was red and gold.

Harry looked around and smiled

"Thanks Remus" He grinned

"I'll leave you to settle in!" Remus grinned "Take as long as you want I'll be in the living room or my office!"

"Ok" Harry smiled

Harry started unloading the trunk and placing his things around his new room. He attached some of his favorite pictures up on the walls and but his books on the book case and the clothes in the wardrobe and dresser. He then placed all his drawing stuff on the desk. Once he had finished he walked out into the living room and upon finding it empty headed into Remus's office.

"Finished?" Remus asked

"Yeah" Harry smiled

"Well you can go back to Gryffindor tower now if you want" Remus smiled Oh but first let me show you the portrait entrance to the living quarters so you can come and go as you like"

"Ok" Harry agreed and Remus put down his quill and led Harry out of the office and down the corridor he stopped at a portrait of lion.

"This is the portrait entrance the password it Sugar Quills" Remus smiled as the portrait opened and Harry glanced into the rooms they had been in earlier.

"This is the way to get to the rooms avoiding my office" Remus smiled "Ok I think that's everything" Remus smiled

"Ok then Bye!" Harry grinned

"Don't forget you can come in the rooms whenever you want" Remus smiled

"Thanks" Harry smiled before heading off back towards Gryffindor tower.

The next couple of days passed in a flurry of homework for Harry and he decided to visit his new room each night to sit in the quiet and work on his homework when the noise of the common room became too much.

One night Harry was sat in the common room watching the fire die down and talking to Hermione and Ron.

"I'm going to turn in" Hermione smiled

"Ok 'Mione" Harry smiled "Night"

"Night Harry! Night Ron!" Hermione yawned as she headed up the girls stairs

"I think I'm going to go to bed too" Ron nodded

"Ok I'll follow you up in a minute I just want too look over my defense against the dark arts essay one last time" Harry said

"Ok but I swear your turning into Hermione…" Ron said rolling his eyes.

Harry laughed and pulled out his essay. "See you in a bit"

"Yeah night mate" Ron grinned.

Harry pulled out a quill and checked over his essay for the tenth time it was as good as he could possibly get it so he wouldn't upset Remus after everything Remus had done for him in the past couple of weeks.

"Why what do we have here? A family traitor!" Came Dawson's voice from behind Harry obviously James had told him about Harry telling Remus and Remus taking Harry away.

"Happy now you've brought shame to the potter name?" Dawson taunted Harry

"Not that you ever brought it any glory anyway your just as worthless as dad says aren't you?" Dawson smirked Harry put his essay back in his back and picked it up and headed towards the stairs to his dorm.

"Oh you're not going anywhere" Dawson said harshly "I want to know why you'd do such a thing to our family"

Harry ignored him and continued towards the stairs.

"I asked you a question!" Dawson yelled pushing Harry up against the wall. Harry panicked and dropped his bag and started kicking and squirming trying to get away from his brother. He glanced over his brother's shoulder and realized they were alone.

"Let me go Daw!" Harry said panicking

"No you haven't answered my question!" Dawson said "Why did you do that to our family!"

"Because!" Harry said "Get off me!"

Dawson punched him in the stomach

"You think after living round dad I haven't learnt a few tricks on how to keep you in line?" Dawson smirked "You really are a worthless sneaking little…" but what Harry was he didn't find out as they heard somebody walking down the girl's staircase. Dawson automatically dropped Harry.

"Not a word" He spat in Harry's ear "Or it wont just be me you'll be answering to it will be dad as well considering how much trouble your already in I'd watch your mouth this time" he hissed as he disappeared up the boys staircase as Hermione appeared.

"Harry?" She asked coming over Harry's side he was sat on the floor where Dawson had dropped him holding his stomach. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah fine" Harry gasped pulling himself to his feet and grabbing his bag

"What's going on I heard shouting it woke me up!" Hermione said

"Oh nothing" Harry said "Just having an argument with the stairs because I tripped over them sorry I woke you"

"Oh Thanks ok are you sure you're alright?" Hermione asked

"I'm fine don't worry, I'm going up to bed I'm completely knackered sorry for waking you" Harry said quickly before disappearing up the stairs and into his dorm. Harry dumped his bag by his bed and pulled out his knife and snuck into the bathroom locking the door behind him.

"I've ruined everything, I've ruined everything for everyone, I'm worthless, I'm so stupid, so fucking useless" Harry muttered as he pressed the cool blade against his skin. He savored the feeling. He kept repeating his short sharp slices at his arm as the tears fell from his eyes.

A/n WoOt! Over 100 reviews! Wow thanks EVERYONE who's reviewed! I've never had more than 100 before! Too everyone asking about Sirius you will find out his reaction later as well as a bit more behind why James hates Harry etc! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I'm afraid the updates may slow down soon as I start college in a couple of days but I will make time to update! Even if it's only once every couple of weeks whenever I'm not on Yard or show duties! Again Thanks to all my reviewers!


	10. Quidditch and Letters

Teardrops

Chapter 10: Quidditch and Letters 

The next couple of months passed quickly. Harry avoided being alone with his brother as much as possible and Dawson had never found the chance to corner his younger brother again since Harry thought it necessary to make sure to begin lengthy conversations whenever he spotted Dawson in the distance, that or he's get out of his way before Dawson had chance to even smell him let alone talk to him. Harry was in full training for their next Quidditch match even though the practice sessions meant coming face to face with his brother, Harry loved them. He loved to fly and defiantly felt safer facing Dawson on a broom where it was clear Harry had an exceptional talent (wood had told him numerous times he was twice as good as his brother).

After there match against Slytherin, The Gryffindor team had watched on anxiously as Ravenclaw thrashed Hufflepuff and Slytherin beat Hufflepuff. The final Match of the season was to be Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. To win the cup they only had to win the match by fifty points. The last training session was a nervous time for the team. Finally they day of the match arrived and Harry (who had spent the night in his new bedroom in Remus's office) munched on his plate of food nervously.

"Don't worry Harry you'll be fine" Remus smiled "Why don't we head down to the pitch a bit early?"

"Ok" Harry agreed.

They headed down to the pitch cheerfully chatting away.

"Look who it isn't" a cold voice said from next to the stands as they approached

"James" Remus nodded barely acknowledging his friend

"How are the little werewolf and the stupid useless attention seeking little brat doing?" James spat

"Shut up James, for once in your life" Remus said angrily

"Hi guys" Sirius's cheerful voice drifted over from behind them.

'Oh shit' Remus thought 'no ones told Sirius about all of this yet…'

"So are we looking forward to seeing the potter boys in action or what?" Sirius grinned

"Its Boy and yes" James said quite harshly

"Why where's Dawson?" Sirius asked confused

"Coming in a minute" James replied coolly

"So why only Boy then?" Sirius asked

"Because that little piece of scum doesn't earn the right to be my son" James spat harshly "come on lets go watch Dawson"

"What?" Sirius asked confused as Harry shrunk behind Remus.

"He's a…" James started but Remus cut it off

"For gods sake James for once admit you were the one at fault" Remus said angrily

"What is going on?" Sirius asked puzzled

"There's been a slight disagreement" James said "between me and Lupin"

"Oh why don't you tell him what's really been going on?" Remus said harshly

"And what's that?" Sirius asked bewildered

"He's been abusing Harry" Remus spat out

"What!" Sirius said baffled "never"

"It's the truth Sirius" Remus stated sadly

"No it isn't that lying little…" James started

"Don't bring Harry back into this" Remus said angrily "he hasn't done anything."

Sirius was looking between his friends

"How do you know about this anyway? How do we know it's the truth?" Sirius asked

"Harry told me a couple of months ago and I healed him. he had horrible bruises and cuts and welts on his chest and legs and shoulder" Remus said and James paled and Sirius looked at him

"If this is true James, why?" Sirius asked "Harry is the sweetest boy I know he's always been… wait a minute how long has this been going on for?"

"Harry couldn't remember exactly but he reckoned since he was four or five" Remus said

Sirius was obviously shocked "why?" he muttered

"He deserved it the useless, worthless piece of scum" James said harshly before taking off up the stands towards Lily and Aimee.

Sirius watched his friend go and then turned to the small boy stood next to Remus and pulled him into a hug.

"Gods Harry why didn't you tell anyone sooner? You know either of us would have helped you!" Sirius asked

"I…I…" Harry stuttered "I deserved it"

"No you didn't!" Remus said softly

"Come on Harry" Sirius smiled "let's show the school what a great little Quidditch player of a god son I have!"

Harry smiled

"I'm gonna catch the snitch and when I do it's for both of you!" Harry grinned

Remus smiled "we'll go up to the stands and get some decent seats see you later Harry"

"Bye!" Harry smiled.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Sirius asked Remus "poor Harry. We could have avoided that confrontation"

"I have been meaning to tell you" Remus sighed "I've been busy with work and not to mention you're always busy with work yourself… that or a new girlfriend…"

"Well" Sirius blushed "I suppose it's not only your fault… do you know the real reason behind it all?"

"From what I understand it goes back to Harry's birth" Remus shrugged "You remember how Lily nearly died giving birth to him don't you?"

"Yeah and how she couldn't accept him and it took her ages to get back to her usual self" Sirius nodded "So just because of something Harry could control he feels the need to hurt him? I can't believe it, I really can't…"

Harry was true to his word and after an hour's chase he caught the snitch winning The Gryffindor team the Quidditch cup. But rather than celebrating with the rest of the team Harry, Sirius and Remus Had a smaller private celebration in Remus's quarters the party lasted about two hours before Harry decided he better go find Hermione and Ron so they could celebrate with him for awhile.

He set of cheerfully down the corridors. He was nearly at Gryffindor tower when he felt someone cover his mouth and drag him away from the common room.

"Little Life Ruining, worthless, Show off!" James harsh voice yelled as soon as the classroom door had slammed shut.

Harry backed away from his dad until he was pressed hard against the wall.

"You've lost me both of my friends! Ruined my life! Deliberately made your brother look insignificant! Nearly killed your mother! Ruined her life! You're such a useless waste of time!" James yelled "and you are going to pay!"

Harry's eyes opened wide as his father released his hand room Harry's mouth and pulled out his wand.

"Oh yes you are going to pay" James smirked

"Crucio!" He yelled Harry's eyes rolled back into his skull as unbearable pain ran throughout his body. He screamed and screamed as James laughed.

"Did that hurt little Harry?" James asked in a highly fake voice

Harry was lying on the floor panting heavily. He was finding it hard to breath.

"Don't think your getting of lightly" James sneered pointing his wand at Harry

"Sectumsempra!" James said force fully. Harry gasped as three large cuts appeared on his stomach as though someone had attacked him with a knife. The blood was pouring from the wounds and Harry felt himself feeling woozy.

James laughed as he muttered the counter curse and the blood stopped.

"like that Harry?" James sneered

Harry felt he could barely breathe let alone answer.

James gave him one last kick

"And if you think of ever telling… well I might not bother with the counter curse next time" James smirked at the bloody pile on the floor that was his son

"You're no son of mine" James spat as he left the room.

Harry was left on the floor in a crumpled heap. He sobbed to himself muttering under his breath. After what seemed life forever the dizziness appeared to be wearing off and Harry took out his wand muttering a cleaning charm on his Gryffindor team robes. He sat for another few minutes before mustering the strength to leave the room. He had to stop once out of the door to let another spell of dizziness wear off. After a few minutes he managed to set off again and made his way to the portrait where he caught his breath and let his head settle before muttering the password.

The common room was luckily empty and Harry made his way as quickly as he could up to his dorm where he collapsed on his bed and fell unconscious.

The last bit of term pasted in hurry for Harry. The exams went well and Harry was proud to receive the highest mark in Defense against the dark arts. He even beat Hermione by two marks.

Finally the holidays were upon them. Harry was staying at the castle with Remus and Sirius (who had sold their other flat to live in the castle and Dumbledore Had put in an extra bedroom for Sirius who's only problem with his new accommodation was not being able to bring his lady friends back. Remus just rolled his eyes when he heard this. Sirius continued with his job as an Auror and also took on the responsibility of teaching Remus's classes on full moon.) So Harry bid goodbye to his friends (who promised to write often) at the door of the castle before heading up to Remus's room.

"So Harry what do you plan on doing with your holiday?" Sirius asked

"I don't know" Harry muttered "I was hoping I could go visit Ron's family he invited me to come over"

"If that's what you'd like to do you can arrange that" Remus smiled

"And can Ron and Hermione come over here? I know it'll be like coming back to school early but…" Harry asked

"I suppose you could try and arrange it only we're going to have to come up with a good reason your staying with me and Sirius and not your parents" Remus smiled

Harry paled

"You… You wont tell them about what he did to me?" Harry asked

"Of course not" Sirius shook his head

"Why don't you just say it's a family matter" Remus suggested

"Oh ok" Harry agreed. "I'm going to go write them some letters and see what they think"

"Ok Harry" Remus smiled

Harry sat at his desk in his room and was pondering over what to write when there was a tapping at his window. Harry looked up and saw a potter family owl.

Harry opened the window and let the owl in quickly he took the letter and shooed it back out the window. He nervously opened the letter and read it.

_Harry _

_You are a worthless waste of space. Actually you're even a waste of parchment. Remember what I said last time I saw you, you insolent little brat remember what could happen if anything else is mentioned and if you don't do as I say. _

_J. Potter _

Harry re-read the little before shoving at the bottom of one of his draws he took out his knife again and watched the blade glitter in the sunlight from the window. Carefully he made three more neat cuts on his wrist. Before shoving the knife and piece of cloth away. He sat staring into space for a while before deciding to write his letters to Hermione and Ron.

A/n Thanks to all my reviewers! For all those of you who asked about Sirius… well the chapter answers it for you! I'm sorry about the lateness of the update but I've just started at college which unfortunately means less frequent updates… I would do some on the college computers but I'm not sure how private they are… (my old school ones could be seen by teachers while we worked on them…) I will update but it may take longer but I will update ASAP! Thanks again to my reviewers!


	11. Holidays

Teardrops 

Chapter 11: Holidays

The beginning of Harry's holiday was fairly uneventful he spent a couple of days in the library, some days he would take his sketch book out too the lake and draw others he would just stay in Remus's rooms. The only eventful thing that Happened each week was the arrival of a potter owl with a letter from Harry's father telling exactly how he felt of Harry and how he was a disgrace, a misfit, unworthy, useless, stupid or what ever other insult he felt like using. Harry tried to ignore the letters but some left him sobbing into his pillow for hours and more scars than ever littered his left wrist and now his right wrist too.

Eventually it was time for Harry's visit to Ron's house.

Harry was flooing over to Ron's with Remus and was to stay for three days. Harry and Remus arrived at ten on the day they had agreed and were meted by a cheerful Molly Weasley.

"Harry!" She said cheerfully pulling him into a hug "It's lovely to see you again!"

"You must be Remus Lupin" She nodded at Remus "Ron said you'd be bringing Harry rather than his parents"

"Yes that's me" Remus nodded

"I must ask where Lily and James are" She asked

"It's a private matter I'm afraid molly" Remus smiled "but he's living with me and his other god father Sirius at the moment. One of us will pick him up on Wednesday evening"

"Ok dear" Molly smiled "why don't you both come and join us for tea?"

"That would be lovely" Remus smiled "Thanks"

"Ok, well Harry, Ron's in his room you can take your bag up now" Molly smiled

Harry smiled cheerfully and headed up to Ron's room

"Well thanks Molly" Remus smiled

"That's ok Remus" Molly said softly "anytime"

Remus flooed back to his office.

Harry's three days at the Weasley's were fun. They played Quidditch every day and the whole house was cheery and bright. Harry enjoyed himself immensely. Luckily he didn't receive any owls from his father during his stay. Which was a big relief to him.

On Wednesday evening Remus and Sirius flooed over to the Weasley's and they enjoyed a huge meal cooked by Molly Weasley. Before returning to Hogwarts after arranging for Ron to come and stay at Hogwarts for the last week of the holiday. Harry had owled Hermione straight away and she owled him back saying she'd love to come and couldn't wait.

The end of the holidays came swiftly and soon enough Harry was impatiently sitting in front of the fire in Remus's office waiting for Ron and Hermione to arrive. (They were both coming from Ron's house as Hermione wasn't connected to the floo). Soon enough the flames of the fire turned green and Ron appeared.

"Hey Harry!" he grinned Hermione and mum are just coming. The fire turned green as he finished speaking and a rather unsteady Hermione stepped out of the fire managing a weak grin at Harry as Mrs. Weasley arrived.

"Harry why don't you, Ron and Hermione take your stuff up to Gryffindor tower?" Remus smiled

"Okay Remus" Harry smiled "come on guys, let's use a levitating charm"

"But Harry we cant do magic or we'll be expelled its summer remember" Hermione said

"Actually because we're in Hogwarts it you can do as much magic as you like!" Harry smiled

"Wicked" Ron grinned "Wingardium leviosa!"

They floated there trunks up to the second year boys dorms (Hermione was to join them for the week) and unpacked a little before sitting around the common room.

"So Harry exactly why are you staying with professor Lupin?" Hermione asked

"I…er… it's kinda… family issue…" Harry said looking down at his hands

Hermione took the hint and didn't press the matter any further.

"So what shall we do?" Ron asked

"I don't know about you too but I'm going to the library I have some bit of the homework I want to look up!" Hermione said getting up and heading towards the portrait hole.

"Quidditch?" Harry asked Ron

"Yeah great come on!" Ron grinned "Oh one minute I didn't bring my broom!"

"You can borrow my comet if you like!' Harry smiled "Sirius got me a Nimbus 2001 for my birthday!"

"Oh yeah I remember you said!" Ron grinned "Cool! Let's go!"

The boys headed down to the pitch and spent the rest of the afternoon playing with a quaffle Harry borrowed out of the Quidditch shed. They returned to the common room, happily chatting away and met Hermione who had her nose in a book as usual.

They had a fun final week of the holiday. Harry and Ron spent a lot of time playing Quidditch and exploring with Hermione who enjoyed sitting in the stands and reading while Harry and Ron played Quidditch. All too soon September 1st arrived and it was time for the other students to return to the school.

Harry, Ron and Hermione woke up late and headed to Remus's living quarters for some dinner before Harry and Ron took advantage of the Quidditch pitch for one last time before they went inside to clean up and get changed for the feast.

The feast was pretty uneventful and a tired Harry, Ron and Hermione headed towards the Gryffindor common room.

"I just need to go get something out of my room" Harry smiled "Catch up with you in the common room ok?"

"Ok Harry" Hermione agreed. Harry headed down towards the defense against the dark arts corridor when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Look who it isn't" a voice said from behind him

"Hello Dawson" Harry said coldly

"Getting smart now aren't we little traitor" Dawson smirked

"Oh shut up" Harry muttered "I'm busy go away"

"Did you get dads letters?" Dawson hissed

"Yes" Harry said bluntly trying to walk away from Dawson but he found his brother blocking his path

"Didn't think to reply now did you?" Dawson spat "Of course it's below the great Harry potter to reply to his own dads letters isn't it"

"He never asked for a reply" Harry told Dawson Truthfully "No if you'd move I can go I have something to do"

"You are such and insolent little brat aren't you ickle Harry kins" Dawson smirked grabbing Harry's right arm

"Let go of me" Harry muttered

"Or what" Dawson spat in Harry's face

Harry muttered up as much energy as he could and punched Dawson in the face.

"Ow!" Dawson moaned holding his nose "Get back here!"

Harry who took advantage of his brother's grasp leaving his arm had bolted down the corridor and before Dawson caught up with him he was in Remus's Quarters.

He leaned back against the door breathing hard.

"shit" Harry muttered "I shouldn't have done that I shouldn't have answered back I really am insolent" He headed for his room muttering "so stupid…" after shutting the door he pulled open the draw of his desk and removed his blade.

Harry wiped the red liquid off his arm and pushed the cloth back in his draw just as he heard the portrait slam and Remus and Sirius enter chatting.

Harry grabbed his Potions text book of the desk and headed out of his room.

"Harry! What are you doing in here?" Remus asked

"Oh I needed my potions book for tomorrow" Harry said gesturing to the book in his hand "Snape would kill me if I forgot it"

Sirius laughed "I'd like to see him try!"

Harry smiled

"Ok Harry," Remus nodded "Are you ok you seem a little flustered and a bit pale…"

"I'm fine" Harry lied "I have to go I want to have an early night before tomorrow"

"Of course" Remus nodded "good idea"

"Night" Harry said

"Night!" Sirius waved and Remus nodded.

Harry traipsed up to the common room with the text book under his arm.

"You know… I'm kinda worried about him" Remus said to Sirius after Harry had gone.

"Why?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of biscuit

"Because I don't think he's gotten over what James did to him. I think he's just pretending everything's fine when its not" Remus commented "also I can smell blood"

"What?" Sirius asked after swallowing his mouthful of biscuit

"I don't know maybe James has found some way to get to him while he's here" Remus suggested

"How?" Sirius asked "I mean he couldn't sneak into the castle he'd be noticed"

"What about Dawson?" Remus asked "Maybe he's helping his dad into the castle or something"

"God knows" Sirius muttered

"We'll just have to keep a close eye on both of them" Remus sighed

Sirius nodded in agreement.

Harry and the other second years got back into routine fairly quickly. They found it weird not being the youngest in the school anymore but they were also glad they now had a years experience of the castle so they knew their way round pretty well (Harry, Ron and Hermione especially).

Harry spent most of the nights in his dorm but occasionally he would stay in his own room for one reason or another (most often the reason was because he was worried Dawson would do something if he didn't)

Harry was still receiving letters from his father. They were getting worse as they went, as were the scars on his arms which were multiplying fast and getting deeper and deeper.

The first Quidditch match of the season was approaching quickly Harry grew worried from the threats of his father telling him that he was going to be there ready to punish him and especially if he showed Dawson up again.

The Morning Dawned cold and frosty. Harry had spent the night in his bedroom panicking. He pulled on his Quidditch robes nervously and unwillingly before joining Remus and Sirius in the living area for breakfast.

"Do you want some toast Harry?" Remus offered

"No thanks" Harry muttered

"Bacon?" Sirius asked

Harry shuck his head

"What about some cereal Harry?" Remus asked

"I'm not hungry" Harry said

"Harry you don't need to worry about James" Remus said calmly "One of us will be with you at all times except when you're on the pitch" He explained

Harry smiled a little feeling a bit better but inside he still knew his father would find away to corner him alone.

A/N Sorry for the lateness of this! I've been at college and literally haven't had to seconds to think about it! Thanks to all my reviewers! I will try and get the next chapter up asap!


	12. Cornered

A/n 1: Well I had a little inspiration for where I want this fic to end up so I've

Decided to finish it!! Especially since I've had lots of reviews asking if I'm going to

update!

PLEASE bare with this because I think my writing style has changed since I was

writing this fic - at least I hope so because it was last updated when I was 16! I'm

Now 19!! I hope the last few chapters will be better quality than the first few.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!! 

Teardrops

Chapter 12

Harry was quite surprised that the match went without a hitch. Both Sirius and Remus had accompanied him to and from the pitch Sirius has also hung around the changing rooms while he was in there just incase James came over, which he didn't.

This didn't stop Harry from being on edge, so instead of celebrating the victory with his team mates Harry decided he'd rather celebrate with Remus and Sirius.

"…and that dive Harry! Bloody hell you had me worried then I thought you were going to it the stands, like a Harry sandwich, But you pulled out so perfectly…" Sirius beamed at his godson "Your such a natural, your father.." Sirius stopped mid-sentence and sighed

"Its ok Sirius" Harry smiled

"Well you'd smash him into the ground in the Quidditch tournament that's for certain." Sirius told Harry proudly

"I should head back to the common room" Harry sighed, he had missed spending time with Remus and Sirius since term had started and he knew Dawson couldn't touch him in Remus's quarters.

"I'll walk you…" Sirius immediately started but Harry held up his hand

"No, its ok I think he'll be home and I can handle Dawson, well I think I can." Harry told Sirius "I can't have you and Remus with me all the time."

"I know kid but we just want to protect you" Sirius told Harry

"He's right Sirius, we cant be there all the time." Remus nodded "Just keep your eyes and ears open, you know where to find us."

"Bye Sirius, Bye Remus" Harry smiled standing up and hugging each of them.

"See you later Kid" Sirius replied ruffling Harry's already messy hair

"Take care Harry" Remus nodded

Harry left the quarters and started back along the familiar path towards the Gryffindor common room. He got to the portrait hole when he felt someone grab his arm.

Whirling round Harry came face to face with his father, who was holding the invisibility cloak that had been covering him in one hand.

"Well well well…" James started as Harry pulled his arm away

"Leave me alone" Harry told James his voice faltering a little.

"Here" James spat simply passing Harry a letter "I wouldn't want to waste any more time on a little brat like you." he threw the clock around himself and stormed off down the hall pushing past Harry so he was knocked sideways into the wall.

Harry held the letter in his trembling hand watching the space where his father had vanished, half expecting him to return and start attacking him. He took one look at the letter, one at the common room and then turned back in the direction he had come. The living area of Remus's quarters were now empty Harry breathed a sigh of relief, he could hide in his room and then the next morning just say he couldn't get to sleep and had come back in the middle of the night that way he wouldn't have to answer too many questions. Harry smiled to himself as he crossed the familiar room and heard Sirius's loud snores echoing from his bedroom. Harry quickly let himself into his room and flopped down on his bed, he took a few deep breaths before he turned his attention to his fathers letter. He opened it, his hands trembling and read it through.

_How dare you punch Dawson? your such a manipulative little brat you don't deserve to be alive, you will never amount to anything. You will always be the worthless little brat that causes nothing but pain, your like a bad luck charm, I'm surprised Sirius and Remus haven't figured that out yet._

_Next time you are away from those stupid fools you will regret being born more than ever before._

Harry couldn't help but let the tears that had been building up as he read the letter overflow. He didn't think his father affected him too much now he had Sirius and Remus but each letter seemed to break through the barrier he put up and rip him apart. His father knew exactly how to hit him so it hurt in both physically and mentally.

He tossed the letter down next to him and lent off the edge of the bed he pulled out an old shoe box and tipped its contents on the bed. About fifty letters flew across the room as well as his knife. He dived for the knife and pulled his sleeve up.

---

Remus had just finished boiling the kettle and was about to pour himself a drink when he heard an unusual noise from Harry's room. He pulled out his wand and tip toed over unsure what he was going to find, the first through that crossed his mind was had James broken in? He crept up to the door and placed his hand on the knob, wand at the ready he flung the door open and his jaw opened in shock at the sight before him.

A/n 2: A big thanks to all my reviewers who enjoyed the story, I will hopefully post all of the rest of the story in the next few days as I'm written another few bits and hope to finish it asap as well as working on The Lost Marauder.

To Okayy.. and any other similar reviewers: when I was first writing this yes it didn't have a very definite finishing point other than Harry living Happily with Sirius and Remus but now I've had some ideas of where I want the story to go and I'm a better writer so I hope the last few chapters are better written. I was only 15 when I started this story its and i know my writing wasnt and still isnt amazing.

Other people have pointed out James and Lily wouldn't be like this - true I personally don't believe they would but I wanted to try it, I thought it would be such a big twist on the what if Harry grew up with his parents storyline.. I like to try and make my storylines unique or have a twist because sometimes its like reading the same thing over and over... Like with The Lost Marauder.

Oh and Jarno said about people noticing in dorn situations etc - when you hurt yourself you'd be suprised how sneeky you can be about hiding it. And also about people being abused but reacting differently, alot of people who self harm have experianced abuse and sometimes self harm because of it I believe it depends on each individual.

I do wish i'd written this story a little differently, maybe made the beatings a little less repeative but i've got a good ending planned - I hope... I just hope I can write it properly!


	13. Secrets out

Discalimer: I don't own anything :(

Teardrops 

Chapter 13 

Remus's eyes flicked around the room from the small black haired boy sobbing on the bed, the blood draining from his arm, the knife in his hand, what looked like letters covering the bedcovers. He felt like his feet had been glued to the floor his eyes watching the scene like some sort of horror move.

Harry didn't even see Remus he was to focused on the knife in his hand.

"I hate you" he muttered to himself "I wish you could just leave me alone"

"Harry" Remus spoke up his voice sounded hoarse with shock.

Harry dropped the knife and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he looked over to the door to see Remus standing watching him. He immediately covered up his arm.

"Let me see" Remus said emotionally

Harry had never seen Remus look this way before, Harry couldn't work out if he was angry, disappointed or concerned. He slowly dragged his sleeve back up as Remus approached the bed closing the door behind him. Harry unconsciously held his breath as Remus took his arm and scanned the old and new cuts with his eyes before running a scarred finger over them.

"Oh Harry" he whispered sadly "I'd ask why but I think its obvious" Remus sighed.

Harry suddenly found himself sobbing into Remus's shoulder. Remus held him tight ignoring the blood and tears soaking his shirt.

"How long have you been doing it?" Remus asked as Harry's tears slowed

"Since the Christmas Holidays last year, I… thought… I thought I could end everything… but when I tried it just sort of became my release, I'm every bit as worthless as my Dad says…" Harry looked down at his feet pulling away from Remus.

"You are not" Remus told him quickly "Even the best people have their faults and look at what you've been thorough…"

"But…" Harry started and Remus pulled up his own sleeve revelling his arm which was covered in silvery scars.

"I hated what I was, this was the only way I could attack the side of me that I hated, but my friends, especially Sirius helped me stop hating myself." Remus explained

"I'm sorry" Harry muttered

"There's nothing to be sorry for Harry" Remus told him

"Maybe I should go away…" Harry started "I'm too much trouble"

"You are not going anywhere" Remus said immediately "You are not trouble, its in no way your fault, your childhood was awful, by the looks of things your father is still not leaving you alone…" Remus added picking up one of the letters

Harry looked down at his feet and nodded as Remus flicked through some of the letters.

"God knows what he thinks he's doing, probably its his sick way of trying to put you through some sort of mental torture…" Remus muttered angrily as he read some of them. Harry just kicked at his bed as Remus looked through the letters.

"Look Harry, I want you to talk to someone" Remus said softly as he put the letters back down "A special counsellor, I think it would help you sort your head out."

"But you said that you talked to your friends." Harry started

"Yes but I wasn't abused, I just hated myself and what was inside me, If it was as simple as learning to love yourself I could help you do that easily like they did for me but after what your father did to you I think you need and deserve proper help." Remus told him "Plus my friends didn't do everything I did talk to Madam Pomfrey a bit and It was easier to talk to someone who wasn't so close to me."

"Ok" Harry agreed "Remus?"

"Yes Harry?" Remus asked

"I want to be happy" Harry told him simply "and I want to stop being scared."

"You will be." Remus hugged him "Your not alone Harry."

"Thank you Remus" Harry said quietly

"Its ok Harry" Remus smiled "Look lets your arm cleaned up and get all these letters picked up and then you can get to bed"

Harry nodded Remus quickly conjured some bandages and a healing potion which he applied expertly to Harry's arm. Soon enough all the letters were tidied away and Harry was crawling into his bed.

"Harry?" Remus asked as he turned to leave

"Yes Remus?" Harry asked

"Just Promise me you will come and talk to me if you want to cut." Remus said quickly

"I will" Harry agreed

"Sleep well" Remus smiled as Harry lay down.

---

"He's been doing what?" Sirius said his face white as Remus told him the next morning "But surely we'd have noticed…"

"I know, I did smell blood around him a few times but I presumed it was from James or just simple Quidditch scrapes" Remus sighed "I do wish I'd looked into it now"

"Urgh I can't believe James pushed his own son this far" Sirius said angrily

"Look I've found him a counsellor, he needs to talk things through and be given a good chance of sorting his head out. He deserves the best." Remus explained

Harry yawned as he stepped out of his bedroom into the living area, he couldn't stop thinking about the events of the night before. He was so deep in his thoughts he wasn't concentrating properly and suddenly found himself wrapped in Sirius's arms.

"What was that for?" Harry asked looking up at his godfather, he figured Remus would have told Sirius about the cutting.

"Just because I love you" Sirius replied "We're going to make everything better, I promise you that."

"Sorry Sirius…" Harry started looking down at his feet

"Don't you dare apologise" Sirius scolded him "You have nothing to apologise for its your stupid father who needs to be apologising… when I get my hands on..."

"Sirius!" Remus warned him

"It just makes me mad" Sirius muttered before a smile crossed his face "Come on kid grab some breakfast and then lets get you to lessons, can't have you skipping classes now, Moony will put you in detention."

"Ok" Harry agreed heading over to the table.

"You make me sound like some sort of Strict, rule obsessed teacher" Remus complained

"Your not" Harry reassured him "Well you are a bit, but not a lot"

"See Harry has spoken, you are a bit strict and a bit obsessed by rules" Sirius smirked

"And you are annoying, childish, idiotic, I could go on!" Remus rolled his eyes as Harry giggled, he didn't notice Remus's smile grow as he giggled at the pair of them arguing like teenagers.

"I best go! I don't want detention" Harry said finishing off his toast

"Good Lad Harry!" Sirius patted him on the back

"Have a nice day Harry." Remus smiled "Oh and before I forget can you pop back here tonight? We need a talk.." Harry's face fell "Just about the counsellor, nothing bad I promise." Remus added seeing Harry's face

"Oh ok" Harry nodded "I'll come back after lessons"

He headed out of the room.

"Its nice to see him smile" Remus mused as Sirius wolfed down his second portion of Bacon and Eggs

"Mmpfh" was Sirius's muffled replied

Remus rolled his eyes and headed out of the living quarters to go and prepare to teach his first class.

A/n: Here we go! Thanks everyone for reviewing :) This is a bit different to what I originally planned but I cant remember the details exactly either so I've tried to twist it to a new idea. I want to finish the story in a few chapters but I also want to build Harry's character up a little.


	14. Reported

Teardrops 

Chapter 14 

Harry beamed at the now familiar wispy blonde hair, the bright red rimmed glasses, the matching red nails and the quirky black robes of the lady in front of him as he entered the equally as familiar office at St Mungo's. He had been seeing Casey for a couple of weeks now, at first he hadn't wanted to talk to her but after lots of encouragement from Remus and Sirius as well as a few sessions with her he had begun to open up and discuss both his cutting and the abuse.

"So Harry" She started looking over the small boy "I'm afraid that I've got a bit of bad news…" Harry's face fell "By law I'm required to report any abuse cases of underage wizarding children that I am informed of to the ministry.."

"What?!" Harry said shocked

"Its not my rules Harry, after last weeks session I had to talk to my advisor and I was forced to report the case to the ministry's child protection division." Casey explained

"But I thought this was private!" He burst out angrily causing an uncontrolled wave of magic to break the glass of water on Casey's desk

"I'm sorry Harry." Casey sighed cleaning up the broken glass with a flick of her wand. "I haven't mentioned anything else, just that your father abused you and how long you said it went on for."

"that doesn't make it ok!" Harry said angrily

"I'm sorry but its probably going to have to be investigated in court." Casey sighed "its very serious Harry, I'm sorry to put it on you but its for the best"

"Whatever" Harry kicked his feet "Can I go back to Hogwarts?"

"Yes I don't think today will be very productive, let it soak in and well discuss everything next week" Casey suggested

"If I come back" Harry told her irritably as he left the room.

---

"Why did you make me go and talk to her" Harry yelled as he entered Remus's office

"What's wrong Harry?" Remus asked concerned

"She's told the Ministry and its going to all be brought up in court!" Harry told Remus angrily

"Look why don't you calm down." Remus suggested

"Calm down! He's going to know I've told more people he's going to.."

"Be locked up Harry" Remus told the angry twelve year old "He's going to pay for what he's done to you!"

"I… that's a good point" Harry flopped down on Remus's sofa

"Now calm down, I hope you didn't blow up at Casey like this" Remus said sitting down next to Harry

"I may have, a little…" Harry blushed

"Look I know it will take a lot of strength for you to speak out to a court about this but afterwards once he'd gotten what he deserves you'll be able to move on" Remus pointed out "Infact I'd suggest this would be the best way to get closure and move on." he added thoughtfully

"Thanks Remus" Harry said as he hugged the older man "I'll apologise to Casey next session."

"Both me and Sirius will be here for you every step" Remus told him "I'm proud of you"

A/n Thanks to my reviewers!! Sorry its short, I was going to write out a few of Harry's sessions with Casey but it would just be going over old stuff and I'm trying to keep the fic moving.


	15. Encounters and Worries

Teardrops 

Chapter 15 

"What did you do?" Dawson asked Harry as he followed Ron and Hermione into the common room after his last class of the day

"What?" Harry asked taking a step back from his angry looking brother

"Mum's just been over the floo" Dawson explained "She was in tears! Dad's been arrested!"

"I didn't mean too!" Harry blurted out as Dawson grabbed his collar

"Dawson leave him alone. Now." Sirius's deep voice came from behind Harry

"Sirius! Come on you don't believe the little…" Dawson hissed

"What your Dad did was wrong Dawson, don't turn out like him." Sirius warned him "If I see your hands anywhere near Harry again you will wish you were the one heading for Azkaban." hed spat "come on Harry I need a word back at Remus's quarters." he added to his godson

Dawson let go of Harry and watched as his younger brother followed Sirius out of the common room.

"I was coming to find you to tell you he'd be arrested but it looks like Dawson got there first" Sirius told Harry as they walked "We thought you might be better off with us tonight just incase... Well you know" Harry nodded

"What's going to Happen now?" Harry asked curiously

"Well they will question your father under Veritesirum, then they will probably want to question you under it as well, then once they have the two stories and evidence given from other people probably Casey, Remus and Myself then it will be brought before the Wizengmot and they will decide the conviction." Sirius explained

"I have to be questioned?" Harry paled

"Yes, to back up your story." Sirius explained "Don't worry they ask the questions and the Veritesirum will help you tell the truth."

"Oh" Harry replied "I don't want to do this Sirius." He muttered

"Tough kid, you've got to make sure your father gets what he deserves and knows he wont get away with things like this." Sirius replied bluntly "You'll be fine."

"I wont." Harry replied "I can't face him" he blushed and pulled up his sleeve showing Sirius the fresh wounds on his arm "I can't"

"Gods Harry!" Sirius said grabbing his godsons arm "I thought…"

"I cant stop, I deserved…" Harry started

"Don't you dare say you deserved that." Sirius snapped "You didn't. End off. I don't ever want to hear you say that again ok?"

"Sorry" Harry whispered

"Or that. You have nothing to apologise for." Sirius told him "Come on lets go inside I'm sure Remus can do something for your arm."

"Don't tell him please Sirius!" Harry pleaded

"He'll find out eventually and if he smells blood on you again he will check you so you don't have much choice really kid." Sirius explained "Honesty in this case the for once the best policy."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that" Harry muttered a small smile crossing his face

"I can be responsible if I want!" Sirius winked "Come on Kid"

Harry heading into the living area of the quarters where he was met by Remus who took one look at his arm and immediately sat Harry down and started applying a healing potion and a bandage.

"See he only bites on full moons" Sirius smirked causing Harry to burst out laughing

"He's an idiot" Remus rolled his eyes "You ok?"

"Yeah, I was just worried about facing him and what he would do when he found out…" Harry explained

"Good job I got there when I did, Dawson wasn't too pleased." Sirius told Remus "I think we'd be scraping Harry off the wall if I hadn't gotten there when I did." he added with a laugh

"Sirius that's not funny!" Remus told him

"Don't worry he wont be touching Harry again." Sirius replied seriously "I'll make it known that if he messes with Harry he will be the one plastered on a wall." he added winking at Harry who smiled.

After Remus had thrashed Sirius in a game of wizard chess much to Harry's amusement as he watched from the table where he had been doing his Potions homework. Harry laughed as he watched his godfather throw the chess board across the room swearing.

"I think… Its time… you turned… in." Remus told Harry between fits of laughter

"Ok Remus" Harry smiled he closed the book and headed into his room "Night Remus, Night Sirius."

"Night Harry!" Remus replied as Sirius sat in an armchair pulling a face

"Night." Sirius nodded before going back to sulking

Harry laughed a little as he shut the door and dug out some old pyjamas which he slipped into.

"Harry?" Sirius's voice asked as he knocked on Harry's bedroom door as Harry climbed into bed.

"Yes?" Harry asked pulling the duvet over himself.

"I just wanted to check you were ok" Sirius nodded "Plus I wanted to make sure you didn't think I was annoyed with you…"

"What because you're a bad loser?" Harry asked innocently laughing a little

"I am not!" Sirius complained "Well I am!"

"No I knew you weren't being stroppy with me" Harry nodded "I'm not thick Sirius"

"That good to hear." Sirius laughed "Ok then kid, you get a good nights sleep."

"Sirius?" Harry looked up at his godfather who was leaving the room

"Yes Harry?" Sirius asked as he turned round

"What will happen to me if dad is sent to Azkaban?" Harry asked nervously

"I will hopefully be assigned as your guardian." Sirius told him quickly "Because of the whole werewolf thing Remus can't be but as I'm your godfather I'm the obvious choice anyway, if I'm not immediately then I will fight for you ok kid?"

Harry nodded

"Good, now get some sleep and stop worrying, you wont be going anywhere!" Sirius ruffled Harry's hair affectionately before leaving the room.


End file.
